Tag Archives: Browns

Want to help Johnny Manziel? Keep him.

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First off, I want to be clear about something – I loved Johnny Manziel. Everything about him, on and off the field. Say what you want about what he does away from football but the six times this year we got to wake up knowing we had four quarters of Johnny to watch that day were some of the most exciting times in my recent (albeit relatively short) Browns fandom memory. It was going to be beautiful, it was going to be horrifying, but goddamnit it was going to be spectacular.

That being said…I’m 100% off the Manziel train. I’m done with his shit and ready for this dog and pony show to be over. So all you guys who clicked this blog just for ammo to tell me how much of an idiot I am, know that I’m actually with you. Took me a while but I’m there.

This is very much a hypothetical blog. I don’t think Johnny will play another down in a Browns uniform. I don’t think I want Johnny to play another down in a Browns uniform. The way things have played out the past couple days sure lend to that conclusion. The Johnny Manziel Experiment is almost certainly over in Cleveland.

But should it be?

Below is an excerpt from a Mary Kay article on Cleveland.com posted just four days ago:

“BEREA, Ohio — Mike Pettine admitted Thursday that Johnny Manziel needs to address his off-the-field issues again if he wants to be the Browns’ quarterback of the future.

Manziel, who’s been ruled out of Sunday’s finale against the Steelers with his concussion, has been videotaped drinking on a regular basis, including on Christmas Eve. It’s a major issue for the Browns considering Manziel spent 73 days in inpatient addiction-rehab center in the offseason.

“Here is a guy that has an NFL skill set, he’s very talented, if you spend some time with him, he’s a likable guy, you root for him,” said Pettine. “But there are problems there that we’ll talk as we’re headed to the offseason about getting addressed. And I’ve said this before, we want to make sure that all of our players are in good shape as people first, players second. Because I don’t think you can be as effective as you can be as a player if things aren’t right off the field. And he’s a good example of that.””

Let’s talk about that bolded part at the end of Mike Pettine’s quote. Yes you animals, I know he was fired yesterday. Maybe that means we should take this quote with a grain of salt. But maybe, and this is what I’d rather believe, this is a value that trickles down the organization from the top of Jimmy Haslam’s lustrous silver wig. Seems counter intuitive for something “good” or “positive” to come from the Browns front office, I know, but with concussions and other controversial off-the-field issues becoming more and more a part of the conversation in the NFL, it seems reasonable to think the added emphasis on player safety & wellness spreading throughout the league didn’t turn around at the front door in Berea.

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Manziel was apparently Haslam’s boy. He’s allegedly the one who wanted to draft him, not Mike Pettine or Ray Farmer. He’s the one who allegedly forced Mike Pettine’s hand and made him start Manziel at the end of last year, not Ray Farmer. There’s almost no denying there’s something going on between our owner and embattled 23-year-old quarterback. So, if this “man first, player second” mantra in the Browns organization holds true, how can Haslam help Johnny Football get his personal life in order? Cut him and let him go where he wants? Trade him for pennies on the dollar to the Dallas Cowboys?

 

Nah. Keep him.

Manziel keeps pulling stunt after stunt like this past weekend for one of two reasons: his substance abuse problems really are that bad, or he’s playing a long con to try and get out of Cleveland (something I laughed off when I initially heard it, but nobody could possibly be this immature, right?)

Let’s say scenario A is true. Nobody really knows the full extent of his problems. Hell, no one knows for a fact why he went to rehab in the first place. But we do know one thing – addicts have to hit rock bottom before they can get better, and the threat of losing football isn’t Johnny Manziel’s rock bottom. That was made clear after he went out and partied days after being named starting quarterback, only to be demoted before he could even play a game.

What would be JFF’s rock bottom, then? Obscurity. Being out of the spotlight absolutely terrifies him, much more so than being off the football field does. So what, you cut him so he can sign somewhere else and continue doing what he’s doing? You trade him to the DALLAS COWBOYS, the most Hollywood franchise in all of football who happen to play an hour and a half away from where he developed these personality traits as a kid?

If we want to help Johnny Manziel the man, you keep him in Cleveland. Let him try and get his ducks in a row for the remaining two years of his contract on the practice squad. Don’t even entertain the idea of playing him. Draft a quarterback in the first round this year. Sure, there will be some residual media spotlight on him from his career at A&M and his first two years here. But without the possibility of playing an NFL game, the circus that follows him would (hopefully) eventually die down and help him realize it isn’t the partying that gets him the bright lights he apparently needs so much. Anybody can drink. Hardly anybody can do what he does on a football field. That’s what gets him where he wants to be, not champagne and Future.

If scenario B is true, if this was all just an act to try and get the Browns to trade or cut him, all bets are off. You let him rot on the scout team for two years, hell even make him play in 2016 behind a Mack-Thomas-Schwartzless offensive line as a “thank you” for embarrassing your franchise. Don’t give Johnny Football whatever he wants for once in his life. It’s been nothing but lies since we drafted him, he’s set the Browns back years and cost who knows how many people their jobs. Fight fire with fire, immaturity with immaturity. A two-year long “Shut up! No, YOU shut up!” between Manziel and Haslam. Wouldn’t that be something?

 

 

 

 

**ducks**

We should probably just cut him or trade him though.

 

Justin Gilbert – slept through meetings, confused about lack of playing time

Leave it to the Browns to be one thousand times more entertaining in the 24 hours following their final game of the season than they were at any point on the field during it. God I love this team.

Pssssst. Justin. That iPhone you were Instagramming on during halftime of the Chargers game? Yep. You guessed it.

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And get this: you can set it to literally any time of the day you want. Day or night. Technology, man. I’ll tell ya.

Gilbert did more talking than that today, too. He refuted a report that came out yesterday that said he straight up told coaches he wouldn’t go in the game, and voiced his displeasure about not playing.

My favorite part about all of this? The end of that tweet from Ruiter – “felt last year held against him this year.” Sweet mother. You don’t say, Justin! Come into meetings late or miss them entirely due to your sleeping habits as a rookie 8th overall pick who couldn’t tackle a fan in the Muni lot at 12:15 on a Sunday, and the coaches are a wee bit apprehensive about putting you in games the following year? What planet does this guy think he’s on?

Need need NEED the audio of this quote. There’s absolutely no way someone didn’t laugh when he said it, right? Like, out loud. Hard. I know media members are professionals but they’re only human, and this is Justin Gilbert we’re talking about.

(h/t @H_Grove for the pic)

AI’s 2015 Top 10 Hottest Cleveland Professional Athletes

It’s that time of year again, folks. Spending time with friends and family, gift giving with loved ones, judging the hotness of Cleveland athletes based on their looks, personality and athletic ability.

Let’s start with a refresher:

Athletes were judged in four categories. AT THEIR BEST, how good looking he/she is at his best on a scale of 1-10. AT THEIR WORST, how gross he/she looks at his worst on a scale of 1-10 (10 still being the best looking). PERSONALITY, what type of person he/she is, scale of 1-10. This can include playing style, fan interaction, social media presence, community outreach, etc. ATHLETIC ABILITY, how talented is he/she as an athlete on a scale of 1-3. We decided to make athletic ability worth less, so that our best athletes would have a slight advantage, but not a huge one seeing as this is a contest based on looks.

Ties were decided by the higher AT THEIR BEST score. If that was also the same, the higher AT THEIR WORST score was chosen.

Last year, California dreamboat Jordan Cameron edged out Kevin Love by a whopping 2.25 points to earn the inaugural AI’s Hottest Cleveland Professional Athlete crown. A quick review of those results:

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Cameron has since moved on to the Miami Dolphins, where he enjoyed virtually no success this season in the first of a 2-year contract. Other drop outs from last year to this year include:

  • Joey Hishon, now playing his hockey for the San Antonio Rampage
  • Spencer Lanning, a free agent after spending three days with the Bears in October
  • Joe Harris, who looks like he belongs more on the Monmouth bench than the Cavs
  • Nick Swisher, who the Indians paid the Braves $15 million to take off their hands
  • Justin Gilbert, who earned the first ever “zero” score in my two years of doing this for Athletic Ability

I also made a little change this year when it came to Athletic Ability. Last year we had 5 total guys score a perfect 3 (LeBron, Love, Irving, Kluber, Brantley). Obviously LeBron is a 3, and I decided that since he’s the best player in his sport, nobody else should really be on that level. Kluber and Kyrie might be in the discussion at their respective positions but it isn’t as clear cut as it is with Bron.

6 spots up for grabs. Let’s get it going.
First Three Out

Matthew Dellavedova, Guard, Cleveland Cavaliers

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Jordan Poyer, Defensive Back, Cleveland Browns

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Travis Coons, Kicker, Cleveland Browns

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(Really says something that the only two Browns that appear on this list are a reserve safety and a kicker in the “Last Three Out” category)

Top Ten
10. Jessica Eye, MMA Fighter

At their best – 8.25

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At their worst – 5.75

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Personality – 6

Athletic ability – 2

TOTAL – 22

When Mike asked me to do this list last year my mind sort of automatically went to dudes? I think it’s cause we’re constantly blogging about our big three male sports teams, watching them play, listening to people talk about them on the radio and making small talk about them at work, and we’re now 12 years removed from the Rockers. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I wanted to get some ladies in the mix this year but I didn’t really know any off the top of my head. At first I thought golfers but the Cleveland golf company made Googling things rather difficult. MMA was the second sport that came to mind with all the Ronda Rousey hoopla lately. Enter, Jessica “Evil” Eye.

She’s originally from Rootstown, and I don’t know where that is either but she went to Akron and Wikipedia says her current residence is in Cleveland, so, good enough for me. I also don’t know D about MMA but there are articles out there with quotes from Dana White that mention her and Rousey in the same sentences, so she must be doing something right. In fact, the only thing I could really knock her for doing wrong are those cornrows. I guess the braided hair and black eyes come with the territory but she sure does clean up nice. She also did this to another human being once:

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9. Daniel Zaar, Right Wing, Lake Erie Monsters

At their best – 9

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At their worst – 8.5

zarworst

Personality – 4

Athletic ability – 0.5

TOTAL – 22

Whoa.

That first picture is absolute smoke patrol. The big brother, national smoke patrol that gets called into a smoke patrol investigation when the local smoke patrol can’t get the job done, and the local smoke patrol gets pissed off cause the national smoke patrol is stealing their smoke and stepping on their toes. Code word clearance smoke patrol.

He leads the Monsters in goals and is third in points, and he’s only 21, so there’s still some potential there, but I couldn’t justify giving him 0.75 for ability and putting him on the same level as Jared Cunningham, Moe Williams and K’Waun Williams. You’re all lucky he’s Swedish so I can’t understand his Twitter and judge his personality or he might have been staring #1 right in the eyeballs.

8. Francisco Lindor, Shortstop, Cleveland Indians

At their best – 7.5

lindorbest

At their worst – 7

lindorworst

Personality – 7

Athletic ability – 2.25

TOTAL – 23.75

If points were awarded for every time I’ve dreamed about a player laying in bed at night, Frankie would have won this puppy in a landslide. The Indians might be a frustrating team to root for but finally having an unquestioned stud live up to expectations at probably the most important position on the field is just so awesome. Did that cloud my judgement of his physical appearance? You might be able to make that argument. I’d counter with the fact that I very well may have sold him short in the personality department. On the field, he played with a fire we just haven’t seen in a while:

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He’s well-liked in the clubhouse and doing great things in the community too:

I heart him. Sue me.

7. Michael Brantley, Outfielder, Cleveland Indians

At their best – 7.75

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At their worst – 7

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Personality – 6.5

Athletic ability – 2.5

TOTAL – 23.75

Smooth wins the tiebreaker over Lindor here with a higher “at their best” score. While Frankie seems like a West 6th bar hop chick chasing kind of dude, Brantley is much more my speed. I want to wear a hole in a bar stool and get black out drunk off of Miller Lite drafts while complaining about Ray Farmer with Smooth. He’s the George Clooney to Lindor’s Bieber.  That’s no knock on the Biebs mind you, it’s just funny to think about how Brantley is looked at as a veteran leader for guys like Lindor and Urshela when he’s just 28 years old. He’s been around so long he’s starting to get the “I know how to fix things with my bare hands” look in my eyes, and I’m not at all mad about it.

6. Tristan Thompson, Forward/Center, Cleveland Cavaliers

At their best – 8

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At their worst – 7.75

thomworst

Personality – 7

Athletic ability – 2

TOTAL – 24.75

Occupying the sixth spot for the second year in a row but always dressing to the nines…Tristan Thompson. Seriously, take ten minutes to go through his Instagram. His closet is absolutely outrageous.thomp2thomp1thomp3thomp4thomp5thomp6

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Say what you want about his outfit choices but you can’t deny he consistently looks good. Has to be one of the best dressed in the NBA.

hated to do it but I had to dock him a little bit on personality because of the contract situation this past summer. He’s still tied for the third highest personality score on the list but that little knock allowed this next guy to jump him from last year…

5. LeBron James, Forward, Cleveland Cavaliers

At their best – 7

bronbest

At their worst – 7

Personality – 8

Ability – 3

TOTAL – 25

If Michael Brantley is George Clooney, LeBron James is Kirk Douglas. He’s seen all there is to be seen in his dozen years in the NBA. And he looks like it.

Bron is not the best looking person on this list. In fact, he has the lowest “at their best” score out of all 10 members. He says things sometimes about leading a team or being the best that make you cringe. He gets very close to being undefendable to Cavs haters with how much he complains to referees. He uses hashtags like #GrownMan on social media.

And he’s beautiful.

The big picture, the net result of all those things plus his fade away jumpers, his and 1’s and his monstrous slams, is beautiful.

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https://twitter.com/DustinFox37/status/608084729863278595

4. Corey Kluber, Starting pitcher, Cleveland Indians

At their best – 7.75

klubbest

At their worst – 7.75

klubworst

Personality – 7

Athletic ability – 2.75

TOTAL – 25.25

Went over this last year, and probably will every year I do this thing, but Klubes best and worst scores will always be the same, because robots always look the same. Just a normal good looking cyborg with an arm like a f*cking cannon. But a self-aware one at that, which is why I always score him so high for personality. Big fan of self-awareness. And beards. And I also really appreciate the work he does at night after games.

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3. Kyrie Irving, Guard, Cleveland Cavaliers

At their best – 7.75

kyriebest

At their worst – 7.25

kyrieworst

Personality – 8

Athletic ability – 2.5

TOTAL – 25.5

Kyrie moves his way into the top 3 this year for many of the same reasons he was at 4 in 2014. He’s one of the best point guards in the NBA. His Uncle Drew commercials are as good as it gets. He’s a solid, albeit unspectacular looking dude.

But you gotta love the way he went about coming back from the knee injury last year in the playoffs. He could have felt sorry for himself, done his rehab behind closed doors, sat in a suite at home games instead of sitting on the bench. Nope. Even though he was in a suit up until a few nights ago, Kyrie has been one of the most visible Cavs through the first two months of the season. Him and Shump built a nice little rapport as they worked toward getting healthy together, something I don’t think I saw between them last season. Just two injured players, stealing the show on 70’s night.

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That’s why his personality is the highest on this list, and why he’s my third hottest Cleveland professional athlete.

2. Jason Kipnis, Second baseman, Cleveland Indians

At their best – 8.25

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At their worst – 7.5

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Personality – 7.5

Ability – 2.25

TOTAL – 25.5

I caught some flack last year for having Kip at #3 and to be honest I still have no idea why. The guy grows a FABULOUS beard. Just killer. One of those faces that was just meant for it. He’s got above average swag on the field and solid swag off it. He’s a big sports fan (Chicago Blackhawks), loves video games and is a great follow on all social media.

Not to mention the fact he’s coming off his second All-Star game appearance and was American League Player of the Month in May. To me, that’s about as close to the total package as you can get.

1. Kevin Love, Forward, Cleveland Cavaliers

At their best – 9.75

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At their worst – 8

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Personality – 7.5

Ability – 2.5

TOTAL – 27.75

Why, Kevin? WHY WHY WHY. The perm and overgrown beard was fun for a minute. Let it all out for Movember. Good, grand, wonderful. Sleeves for headbands! Ha!

But I think I speak for the entire city and, quite frankly, humanity as a whole when I say – It’s time to turn the page. Get the clippers out and give me my short haired scruffy bearded Kevin back. Please. That’s my Christmas wish this year.

It also says quite a bit about Kevin that he can subject us to a look like that for the past two months and still win the title of AI’s 2015 Hottest Cleveland Professional Athlete pretty handily. I might have to implement some sort of weighted scoring system to make things interesting next year because Kevin’s a goddamn aesthetic juggernaut. It was over before it even started.


That’s a wrap, folks. In summation:

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Got beef? Let me know at @Bottlegate or bottlegatecle@gmail.com. And be on the lookout for our reader poll — here’s what you guys came up with last year.