Tag Archives: Cleveland

Where is Ray Farmer?

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Here we are, heading towards the month of November with a sub-.500 football team and absolutely no idea what the hell is going on. Down is up, up is down. The team that was supposed to run the football and prevent other teams from doing so can’t do either, our “strong” offensive line and secondary have been maybe the two weakest units collectively on the team, one of our two big pass-catching free-agents has done his job nine times in 162 snaps this year while the other is 0-12, we lost a game because we couldn’t stay on our side of the line of scrimmage before the snap, our Pro Bowl corner is hurt and the guy we took in the first round two years ago that happens to play that position is doing nothing but returning kickoffs, our first round pick from this year is statistically the worst rookie defensive tackle in the NFL (according to PFF), and our backup quarterback is getting more press in the past two days for getting into an argument with his girlfriend than our starting quarterback who has thrown for 1,367 yards and eight touchdowns in the past four weeks. Other than that, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Every damn year. When the weather starts to turn. Like clockwork.

As all of this is happening, as we’re nipple deep on our yearly tour of the orange and brown septic-tank-on-the-lake, all I keep thinking about is one thing:

Where the hell is Ray Farmer?

Our general manager returned from his four-game suspension just over three weeks ago and we haven’t heard but a whimper from him since (I’m not counting that “official statement from Ray Farmer” the Browns put out about Johnny earlier this week that he neither wrote nor posted himself.) Where is he? Why is he sending his head coach out to the podium to get absolutely pummeled by the media like he did yesterday to answer questions about a player he allegedly didn’t even want? He wants members of his organization to “play like a Brown,” yet he’s general-managing it from behind a curtain like the goddamn Wizard of Oz.

“First and foremost, I would like to extend an apology to Cleveland Browns fans,” Farmer said in a February press conference about his thunder thumbs. “I take full responsibility for myself and my actions.” Ray’s so full of shit his eyes are turning brown. He got SUSPENDED. For TEXT MESSAGING. As a GENERAL MANAGER. He gave 9 million dollars to a guy who he himself is tied with for receptions this year, he’s continually passed up bona fide talents in the draft and the Browns have done nothing but further cement themselves as the laughingstock of the league since he first graced us with his presence two years ago. Where’s our apology now? Why haven’t we seen this guy in months? The last video I can find of him speaking is him talking about Terrelle Pryortwo months ago.

Here’s a snippet of what you get when you search the videos on the Browns website for “Farmer”:

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Not a whole lot going on upstairs for Mr. Farmer since the end of July apparently. Actually makes sense.

At least have the decency to come out and lie to our faces, Ray. Tell us that you’re seeing progress from the defense, or you still expect Bowe to contribute, or GOD FORBID how good Josh McCown has been the past four weeks. Hard as it is to believe, it actually looks like you did something right in bringing him in! Get out and take credit for it before these next four or so games. At this point I don’t even care. I’m not expecting to come out and admit to all these colossal failures during his tenure here because that’s not how these things work. Just give us something.

I understand that general managers aren’t always the most public-facing individuals in an organization. And yes I obviously recognize his suspension might have played a role in his silence.  But the Browns aren’t just any organization. And he’s not just any general manager. And it’s been a month. Time to “take full responsibility for yourself and your actions,” Ray.

 

This Week In Cleveland Craigslist Missed Connections

After a 12 day hiatus we’re back with a vengeance this week with our Cleveland Craiglist Missed Connections weekly feature. Searching the depths of Craigslist to bring you the finest missed connections postings from the finest Northeast Ohioans on the Internet. Some posts are looking for love, some are looking to hook up, none of them will work.

Let’s go

 

 

2cl3

Continuing our theme of “gas station or convenience store postings.” I’ll tell ya, these NE Ohio gas stations must be a breeding place for love or something because after sifting through these posts I’d say about 40% of these occur in line at a gas station.


2cl4

BRO. You’re posting about something from several YEARS ago?? Do you know how unlikely it is for someone to search Craigslist and make a connection with someone they saw an hour ago? But you think the random girl at Barley House (I think) will somehow remember that she smiled at you in 2012?!? This one has to be fake. I cannot believe someone as stupid as this exists.


2cl5

Haha. Dork. Take your poetry somewhere else you weirdo.


2cl6

Could this guy be any more clueless? Here, let this Family Guy clip break it down for you:


2cl7

I don’t know what you guys were talking about in regards to Playboy but I’d sure like to get your thoughts on their decision to stop showing nudity.


2cl8

“Would definitely kiss you.” Uh, thanks?


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“Hey you’re a fucking awful at playing the instrument that you probably spend hours upon hours practicing and devoting your life to… wanna go on a date?”


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MORE GAS STATIONS. Love this dude just casually slipping in “import sports car.” Hey, if I had an import sports car and didn’t drive a POS with no air conditioning and a radio that doesn’t get FM channels, I’d reference “my import sports car” so much it’d make your head spin.


3cl2

“Just the right amount of junk in the trunk.” Sure dude, let’s traumatize your kids once they find their dad hooking up with their teammate’s mom in the soccer field bathrooms.


3cl3

Sexy cougars eating donuts? Now I’m intrigued.


3cl4

Hey fucker, I’m trying to have a weekly blog feature here. Don’t let the Craigslist posters become self aware.


3cl5

Oh what the fuck.


And on that note, we’re out until next week.

Cleveland.com Comments of the Week: 10/18/15

COTW

During my daily peruse for content on Cleveland.com, I sift through some of the comments and save a handful to share with you all once a week. So when you’re hungover and clinging to life on a Sunday morning, come on over to Bottlegate and let us talk you off the ledge.

COTW Archives


Ronald McDonald statue hamburgled from Mass. home; family offers reward for return

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Funeral directors stand against gun violence with hearse procession through Cleveland (photos, video)

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Teen posts ex-boyfriend’s nude photos on Instagram: Solon Police Blotter

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How Cleveland Browns’ Pierre Desir spent his offseason preparing for a challenge like he faces in Peyton Manning

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Pursuit of ‘El Chapo’: Officials say drug lord injured in latest escape

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Investigators release sketch of Shaker Heights armed robbery suspect

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If you see a comment that needs to be shared with the world, tweet those over to @Bottlegate or shoot us an email at bottlegatecle@gmail.com.