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Browns

I Am Officially Betting On The Browns Every Game For The Rest Of The Season

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Yep. It’s been decided and written in stone.

I will officially be betting on the Browns to cover in every game for the rest of the 2016 season. I’m removing all emotion from the actual outcome of the game and just focusing on the spread and if the Browns cover that spread. As the Browns continue to lose this season, the betting lines will continue to get more favorable for the Browns. I can totally see them being two touchdown underdogs at home in week 5 when Tom Brady comes back.

Most likely the Browns won’t be favored in any game during the 2016 season aside from MAYBE when they host the Chargers. That way, when they actually fall ass backwards into somehow winning a game, I’ll have double satisfaction that weekend; a win and a cover. Even if they lose the actual game but cover that +11 spread, it’ll still be a win for me and I won’t get that “fuck everything I want to jump off a bridge” feeling on Mondays. It’s possibly the best attempt to find some happiness in this Season of Nothingness.

Is this a smart and sound betting strategy? Nope. It’s all emotional and zero mental. In reality, the Browns will probably go 6-9-1 against the spread this year and I’ll lose hundreds of dollars… but those 6 wins will be so so sweet.

money burn cash burning shovel

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Browns season record against the spread the past 4 years:

  • 2012:  8-7-1
  • 2013: 6-10
  • 2014: 9-5-2
  • 2015: 5-10-1
  • 4 year total: 28-32-4

Not the best history but then again no team has ever come back from a 3-1 NBA Finals deficit so maybe things will fall into place.

GIVE ME THE BROWNS +7 OR GIVE ME DEATH

mccownwitness

 

Indians

Brandon Guyer is actually starting to scare me

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Getting hit with a baseball sucks.

It’s a piece of cork/rubber wrapped in yarn. It weighs five ounces. And when someone throws it as hard as they can and it hits you flush, it hurts.

From a 2012 Tim Kurkjian article about what it feels like to get hit by a major league pitcher:

The pain is excruciating. “Anyone who says it doesn’t hurt is insane,” [Tigers outfielder Brennan] Boesch said. “It hurts, but adrenaline helps. The game is on national TV. Everyone sees you. Don’t show it.”

[Angels outfielder Torii Hunter] “If it’s going to hit you in the knee, you turn so it hits you in the back of the leg. It’s amazing how quickly the human body can move when you’re trying to avoid something hitting you. You have to know your soft spots.”

“If it’s going to hit you in the knee, you turn so it hits you in the back of the leg.”

Hm.

More from Kurkjian:

The Braves’ Eric Hinske said, “Sidney Ponson hit me on the inside of the knee with a 95 [mph fastball]. I thought I had been shot with a gun. I went down like a sack of potatoes. But I stayed in the game. You wrap it up and keep playing. The lump on my shin was there at least a month.”

“That’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt on a baseball field,” LaRoche said. (after taking one to the back of the knee.)  “The ball hit me so hard, it bounced halfway back to the pitcher’s mound. I went straight to the ground after that one. When I got back up, I had to take a knee. I was just trying not to throw up.“

The pitch from White Sox starter Jose Quintana that hit Guyer last night was a little over 93 MPH. The ball came off his knee at around a Josh Tomlin change up.

Watch the vine and cover up his lower half with your finger. Looks like the most nonchalant ball 4 of all time. Someone probably had to tell him he’d actually been hit.

Guyer now leads all of MLB in hit by pitches with 30. That’s eight more than the guy in second place (St. Ignatius product Derek Dietrich), or the same number that separates numbers 2 and 7 on the leader board.

The Oakland Athletics have 32 as a team.

Hughie Jennings holds the single season record with 51 in 1896 but there have been just five players to record more than 30 in a single season since 1900.

He also eats crickets.

 

KEEP THE CHIEF

College Football

Bottlegate’s Week 2 Top 10 College Football Teams And The Top Heisman Hopefuls

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Last Saturday’s slate of games was pretty terrible overall so a lot of the shakeup in the top 10 is mostly because I was bored and a lot of teams underperformed vs vastly inferior teams.

Let’s go

 

10. Arkansas

Going on the road and beating a good TCU team in double overtime was one of the better wins of the weekend. I don’t expect the Razorbacks to be here long but if they can beat Texas A&M in 2 weeks then they might be for real.

https://twitter.com/abdulamemon/status/774798398927011840

Next up vs Texas State

 

9. Tennessee

Yes they needed overtime to beat App State in week one but that was an absolute decimation of Virginia Tech at the Battle At Bristol. Plus Tennessee gave us this classic video which instantly catapults them into the top 10

Image result for the battle at bristol

 

8. Clemson

Kind of getting a “2015 Ohio State” vibe with this year’s Clemson team. Tons of expectations rest on the shoulders of the Clemson players this season and they’ve underperformed in their first 2 games. Sure a win on the road at Auburn is nice but only beating Troy by 6 at home? Need to see a lot more out of the Tigers.

Next up: vs South Carolina State

 

7. Wisconsin

Didn’t have the Badgers ranked last week but I’m starting to like what I’m seeing out of Bart Houston. Plus it’s a QB named “Bart” playing football in Wisconsin. That’s gotta be worth a spot or two by itself. The Badgers have the best win among Big 10 teams and probably do deserve to be the highest ranked team in the Big 10, but I just can’t put them over OSU or Michigan.

They take on Georgia State on Saturday

 

6. Texas

With Clemson’s exile out of the top 5, Texas moves up a spot. They beat UTEP 41-7. Didn’t do anything spectacular this weekend but they took care of business.  They have an interesting late game at Cal on Saturday night before they start their Big 12 schedule.

 

5. Michigan

Has a team ever been dropped out of the top 10 altogether because their coach was caught on camera eating his boogers? Because that’s what I think should happen. If Jim eats anything else that comes out of his body next weekend I’m dropping Michigan indefinitely from any future rankings.

Michigan hosts Colorado on Saturday.

 

 

4. Ohio State

The Bucks honestly didn’t look too great in their win over Tulsa and still won by 45 points. The defense hasn’t allowed a touchdown yet and will have their hands full this coming Saturday vs. Baker Mayfield and Oklahoma. I’ve had this game circled for like two years so it’ll be VERY interesting to see what plays out in Norman.

 

3. Houston

The Cougs! Have them over Ohio State and Michigan because they have the more impressive win. If OSU can beat Oklahoma this weekend, they’ll jump Houston but for now the Cougars are #3.

Houston has a nice little challenge Thursday night when they travel to take on Cincinnati on ESPN.

 

2. Alabama

The fact that Nick Saban was about to murder Lane Kiffin on the sidelines while the Tide were 28 with under a minute left was almost enough to put Alabama in the top spot. They handily beat Western Kentucky and will take on Kent State next Saturday.

 

1.Florida State

They were my #1 team last week and did nothing over the weekend to change that. My Heisman darkhorse Deondre Francois had another nice game throwing for 262 yards and 3 TDs.

Huuuuuge game this weekend at AP #10 Louisville. Can the Seminoles stop Lamar Jackson and keep their top spot or will Louisville break into the top 10?

Dropped out: Georgia (only beat Nicholls by 2 at home), Stanford (didn’t play)

 

 

Heisman Top 5

5. Christian McCaffrey

Stanford didn’t play. According to Topbet.com, he’s the Heisman favorite at 3-1.

 

4. Deondre Francois

262 yards passing 3 TDs. Still unlisted right now. A big game vs. Louisville would do wonders for his campaign.

 

3. JT Barrett

149 yards passing & 55 yards rushing & 2 TDs. Listed at 6-1.

 

2. DeShone Kizer

156 yards passing 2 TDS & 35 yards rushing 1 TD. Listed at 30-1, up from 40-1 from last week. Riding the Kizer For Heisman bandwagon hard this season, get your bets in now.

 

1.Lamar Jackson

He did this.

And threw for 411 and 1 TD and also rushed for 199 yards and 4 TDs. He’s played shit competition but there’s no denying he’s the favorite right now.

 

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Got a GREAT slate of games this weekend:

Florida State @ Louisville, Michigan State @ Notre Dame, Alabama @ Ole Miss, Ohio State @ Oklahoma… Games that will definitely impact the top 10. Much better than what we got last weekend.

Go Bucks.