Tag Archives: featured

Mental note: If you’re going to rob a bank, don’t post a selfie on Instagram with the money

From Cleveland Scene

CLEVELAND, Ohio — A bank robber captured after he posted a picture of himself with stolen cash on Instagram will spend nearly 12 years in federal prison.

Rodney Johnson Jr., 22, and Laron Lloyd, were charged in the Dec. 7, 2013 robbery of the Fifth Third Bank in the 12000 block of Cedar Road in Cleveland Heights.

Johnson brandished a silver revolver and the pair made off with $6,701 in cash, according to an affidavit.

Johnson was arrested four days later after the FBI and Johnson’s probation officer in a separate case matched an Instagram photo with bank surveillance photos.

Johnson confessed to his part in the robbery during an interview. He pleaded guilty in September to armed bank robbery and brandishing a firearm

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Oops. Poor Rodney. Do these narc judges and FBI agents not know the point of Instagram? It’s to post normal everyday pictures, add a filter to make the picture look cooler than it really is, add a couple hashtags, add a couple  1f525-twitter1f525-twitter1f525-twitter emojis, and voila you’re getting at least 50 likes.

Add in the fact these bros are wearing suits, ski masks, and throwing hunnids in the air, and one is holding a gun… I almost wish the judge would throw out all the charges. I mean, that’s just a fantastic Instagram pic. It looks like it could be the cover of a G-Unit album. If it showed up on my feed, I’m 100% giving it a double tap.

PHOTO VIA INSTAGRAM

Browns v Ravens Monday Game Tape; It’s Over. It’s finally over.

It’s over. It’s finally over. You know in Call of Duty when you’re on your “Last Stand?” Just laying on the ground bleeding out, about to die, and blindly shooting at the other team hoping to do some damage? That’s what these last couple of games for the Browns felt like. Just laying there waiting to die and waiting for the season to end.

Honestly though, we need to give credit to this coaching staff and group (most of them) of players. With all the stupid bullshit distractions they’ve faced the past couple weeks, it’s refreshing to know that they never quit and never laid down. That’s a lot more than we could say about past teams. So kudos or something, even though you lost 5 in a row… you didn’t quit. So, uh, thanks for that? Let’s look at the game tape.

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ravensbrownsscoring

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The teams traded field goals in the first half and went into halftime tied at 3-3.

Any other QB in the league this is penalty. Connor Shaw? Nope. I imagine the ref said “Buckle up your chinstrap son, this is the NFL.” Then gave him a pat on the ass and accepted a $20 from Terrell Suggs.

They would’ve had to call an ambulance for Tom Brady

That pass went for 49 yards BTW.

Terrance West scored after that.

Browns took the lead but in a later drive by the Ravens Joe Flacco threw 2 passes to Torrey Smith and Baltimore drove down the field in about 6 seconds, took the lead, and never looked back

And the Ravens added another TD to win 20-10 AND the Browns fell to 7-9 when they were once 7-4 AND ended the season on a 5 game losing streak AND are the only team in the AFC North that didn’t make the playoffs AND still don’t have a legit NFL quarterback at the moment AND…. AND…. sigh.  Got all that?

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Quick thoughts:

– How about Joe Haden, man? Has the flu, gets an IV just to play in this “meaningless” game with his 7-8 team and comes in and balls out (aside from the long Torrey Smith pass). He didn’t have to play today, he could have easily taken the day off to rest up for his 2nd straight Pro Bowl and no one would have blamed him. We need more guys like Joe who actually give a fuck about the name on the front of the jersey. If anyone cared about this team as much as Haden, we wouldn’t be 7-9 and losers of 5 in a row.

– You don’t tell Meder when the play starts, he tells you. Nice to see a NE Ohio kid getting some playing time.

– Really encouraged by Craig Robertson. The past few games I’ve seen him making plays all over the field. I don’t know what his actual defensive stats are in those games but every time I look up it seems like Craig is drilling some guy into the ground.

– Kudos to Connor Shaw. Undrafted rookie. Wasn’t even on the roster last week. Depleted receiving corps and O-Line. And has to make his first start on the road vs. a division opponent fighting for their playoff lives. Oh, and he has Terrell Suggs staring him in the face every play… I doubt he’s the answer to the Browns QB problems but he certainly earned my respect yesterday.

– Could this year have gone any worse for our two first round draft picks? Seriously, if you would have told me it’d be the “worst case scenario” for those 2 guys I wouldn’t have even thought it’d be this bad.

– We’re gonna need a punt returner next year.

– It’s taken A LOT but I’m almost at my breaking point with Johnny Manziel. Almost. I’m still not ready to write him off yet. He definitely needs to grow the fuck up though.

– I don’t think I could say anything about Josh Gordon, Johnny Manziel, or Justin Gilbert that hasn’t already been said… but holy shit I can’t want for Pettine’s press conference on Monday. I hope he brings it strong.

-This Alabama fan on Instagram sure doesn’t like Johnny Manziel

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– Thank GOD Jimmy Haslam isn’t firing Pettine or Farmer. That’d set this franchise back about 5 years. Think about this though- if Harbaugh already wasn’t going to Michigan would Haslam back Pettine like he did? Something to ponder.

RIP Cleveland Browns 2014 Season. See you guys at a draft party somewhere. Let’s do some shots. Thanks for reading these every Monday.

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PS- Amari Cooper looks pretty good in a Browns uniform, don’t you think?

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Photoshop obviously done by our boy Zack from Center Field Smoke

Johnny Manziel threw a huge rager Friday night which led to Josh Gordon’s suspension

From Cleveland.com

BALTIMORE, Md. — Johnny Manziel threw a big party Friday night that resulted in his fine for being late for treatment Saturday morning andJosh Gordon suspended for missing the Saturday walk-through, several sources told cleveland.com.

The source told told cleveland.com that Josh Gordon, who’s suspended for today’s game against the Ravens, attended Manziel’s party along with other members of the team.

CBS Sports’ Jason LaCanfora first reported that Manziel threw the party.

By Saturday morning, team security was sent to Manziel’s apartment to try to find him, because he failed to show up for treatment on the hamstring, and he wasn’t answering his phone, a source told cleveland.com on Saturday. The source also said he was fined for being tardy.

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UPDATE: In speaking with the media Monday, Manziel said he did not throw a party, that it was a complete lie and that he didn’t even see Josh Gordon Friday night.

Guys, Johnny said he was going to take this seriously NEXT YEAR. Next year isn’t for a couple days so he’s still go some time. R-E-L-A-X.

And besides, has ANYONE even seen Varsity Blues? Jon Moxon takes Billy Bob, Tweeder, and the boys out to a strip club all night the night BEFORE the game. It’s called building team camaraderie and togetherness, duh. How are you supposed to develop that cohesion with your teammates? Practice? PSSHH. No. You get rip roaring drunk. Johnny is on IR so it didn’t matter, Moxon had to play the next day. I guess that’s just how they do it in Texas.

This is textbook #ChillMode. You don’t go to your treatment the next day, don’t answer your phone, and you make the Browns  come and find you like Liam Neeson in Taken 2. Chill Mode to the max.

Confirmed Browns in attendance:

Johnny Manziel

Josh Gordon

Justin Gilbert

Travis Benjamin (but he wasn’t an idiot and got to practice on time)