In a game that featured three hits and a bomb from Francisco Lindor, six innings of stellar pitching from Josh Tomlin and a two-out, two-run double from Mike Napoli to give the Tribe the lead early, it was Kyle Chaboudy who delivered the unequivocal play of the night at the corner of Carnegie and Ontario.
Regular selfies (ones that are taken for the purpose of showcasing things in the foreground, like the people taking it) have long since crossed over into the realm of ridicule. It is allowed, nay, encouraged to make fun of people for taking them.
In most cases, there are people in literally every direction. Ask one of them to take your picture.
You’re doing your country and, quite honestly, all of mankind a disservice if you don’t turn to the person next to you and point & laugh at the two duck-faced bimbos rotating their phone at every conceivable angle with their outstretched arm in an effort to hide as many of their chins as possible.
I mean it. They deserve it.
But selfies with a purpose, that take advantage of an opportunity to seize a moment that doesn’t come around often, those get you in the hearts of the American people and on the front page of Reddit. It’s those men and women who snap selfies to get those duck-faced bimbos in the background that our founding fathers had in mind when they talked about a “perfect Union.”
So I guess what I’m trying to say is, thank you Kyle.
That blog got away from me.
KEEP THE CHIEF
LIMA, Ohio — A Lima man wanted by police sent investigators a selfie after seeing his “terrible” mugshot posted on social media.
“Here is a better photo, that one is terrible,” Donald “Chip” Pugh said in a message to police.
Pugh, 45, is wanted for failing to appear in court. He is also a person of interest in a number of crimes including arson and vandalism, the Lima Police Departmentsaid on Facebook.
Pugh is disheveled and sports a cheesy grin in his mugshot. His preferred photo shows him sharply dressed, well-groomed and wearing sunglasses.
An all-time move from Chip Pugh here. It’s like he’s running his own personal real life criminal Facebook profile. Don’t like a picture you’re tagged in? Unflattering angle with a double chin? Untag yourself. Don’t like your mugshot? Send in a different one. We all do it on social media, Chip just did it in real life as he’s wanted by police. Boss move.
Really it’s not any different than you picking the best looking pic for your Facebook profile either. Unfortunately for Chip, mugshots last forever. That’s why my man had to take matters into his own hands and send in his most fire looking selfie. Can’t have a bad mugshot pop up when prospective girlfriends Google your name in a few years. Gotta look good for the people who might come across your name on the Internet.
UPDATE: He got caught.
Hopefully this doesn’t start a trend among criminals because otherwise we wouldn’t have gems like these:
1 preseason game down and I’m pretty sure we’ve already got the JR Smith quote of the year. Thanks JR for clarifying that you weren’t doing crack, I’m sure it was on all of our minds (no one was thinking that). Who knew you could lose 17 pounds so quickly just from doing crack? Think I just found my new diet!
A couple more highlights from last night’s preseason game vs. the Hawks.
- LeBron took a selfie with some of the faithful fans
- Richard Jefferson turned back the clock and dunked on some fool
- And JR Smith and LeBron lost their damn minds
- Watching Mozgov play with LeBron and co. for a full season could be pretty satisfying
I know getting excited about any team in any sport in the preseason is dumb but I’ve gotta admit that I think I’ve got Cavs fever already.