Tag Archives: indians

Juan Uribe revealed why he doesn’t wear a cup

When the Indians signed Juan Uribe to a 1-year deal worth $4 million this off season, it wasn’t exactly looked at as a monumental acquisition. Sure, he’s a pleasure to have in the clubhouse, and the list of teams he’s played for over his lengthy career is extensive, but he’s just about reached that point in his life where things simply take him longer to do than they used to. In other words, he’s not able to cover the width of dirt or swing the wood as ferociously as he did as a young ball player.

That’s not to say he hasn’t been anything to write home about so far in 2016. Indeed, his presence in the clubhouse is felt from top to bottom. 162 games is an extended period of time to spend with a group of people. Even the smallest things can snowball into colossal disagreements during the hot summer nights. But Uribe’s distinguished career has equipped him with the tools to diffuse those tense moments and help his teammates relieve any stress they might have pent up as the season progresses. Exhibit A:

Now, if you or I took a 106 MPH ground ball off the bat of the best player in baseball directly off the jimmies, tears would be shed. Baseball would almost certainly be a thing of the past for us.

Not for Juan. He was back to his usual self before the game yesterday, popping off quotes like this:

https://twitter.com/MLBastian/status/742471487676768257

The legend just keeps growing.

Some other highlights from last night:

https://twitter.com/TomFHannah/status/742503720659849217

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Jason Kipnis unknowingly bumped into Ken Griffey Jr. in Seattle, got called for the charge

Oh no, Kip.

I don’t even care who your favorite team or player was as a kid…if you grew up in the 90s as a baseball fan, missing an opportunity to meet Junior because you got called for the offensive foul is soul crushing.

Set your feet, kids. Set your feet.

Who are we thinking the teammates were, standing behind him pointing and laughing? Frankie has gotta be a heavy favorite since there’s laughing involved and him and Kip are best friends in my brain. Naquin too, because he did grow up in the 90s and its just basic science that every left handed outfielder ages 20-30 wanted to be Junior at some point. And probably Juan Uribe, pretty sure he’d recognize The Kid from when he used to babysit him.

Jason Kipnis put Ketchup on its ass during the hot dog race last night

 

#comestrongordontcomeatall

Don’t you dare bring that shit up in here Ketchup. Don’t even think about it. Take your weak ass runny condiment inside your fart-noise making squeeze bottle and find another race to run in. Cause this is Kip’s domain. What he says, goes. Ketchup might do it for folks in Detroit or Pittsburgh or Oakland, but if you ever show your garbage-spewing spout around these parts again, Kip will find you. And the age old question of “is Ketchup flammable?” will finally be answered.

Don’t be surprised to see Relish make his debut tonight.

ALL DAY SON. ALL DAY.

kip2

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