kangaroo | Bottlegate

From Fox 8

NORTH RIDGEVILLE, Ohio – Just before 5 a.m. Friday, North Ridgeville officers got a call about a kangaroo roaming down Lorain Road near Stonebriar.

Three officers responded and were able to get the kangaroo, named Foster, back into his pen on Island Road.

No officers were injured while corralling Foster back into his pen.

Officers also said that yes, kangaroos are allowed in the city with the correct permits.

If we’re being honest, I’m pretty disappointed in the North Ridgeville police department. They robbed Northeast Ohio of having the chance to go full blown Jumanji. Kangaroos, zebras, rhinos, monkeys, and elephants running through the streets of Cleveland would have been AWESOME. Maybe bring Robin Williams back from the dead? As long as that little annoying kid who’s turning into a monkey doesn’t come. That kid sucked.

You think that Kangaroo wouldn’t have hopped his ass down to Cleveland Metroparks Zoo and let his friends out? I’ve seen enough animal escape movies to know that’s how it works.

How about being able to own kangaroos in North Ridgeville though? Screw getting a dog or a cat like normal people would, I’d want a 6’7 200 lb* kangaroo chilling inside of my house.

Obligatory kangaroo fight:

*according to Wikipedia

The music to this fight sucks so mute the kangaroo video and press play on the video below to hear some crunk

Never have I seen such a mean spirited fight with this amount of vitriol since Tyson-Holyfield circa 1997. Standing upright on their hind legs, this honestly just looks like 2 drunk guys fighting on the deck at Shooters. Like if it was dark enough and I was drunk enough I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between these two fighting Joeys or 2 guys named Joe wearing Affliction t-shirts swinging on each other. Incredible. Talk about “Thunder From Down Under” (talk to me Rovell). I don’t know how these kangaroos withstood all those turbo kicks and not once did one of them get fully knocked to the ground. I love how they use their tail to balance when they kick too, it’s almost like they have a third leg a la Greg Oden.

If you think we only do sports here at Bottlegate, you’re nuts. If we see a video of 2 kangaroos fighting we’re posting it 100 out of 100 times.

Down goes Frasier!! Down goes Frasier!!

PS- I know this may be a few days old but if you can’t appreciate a video of 2 kangaroos fighting set to Lil Jon then I imagine you don’t have many friends.

Cleveland