Tag Archives: missed connections

This Week In Cleveland Craigslist Missed Connections

It’s been awhile but Cleveland Craigslist Missed Connections is back. I wanted to try and make this a weekly scheduled post but unfortunately the postings over there haven’t been consistent enough to do that. This batch doesn’t disappoint though.

Here we go

 

3cl6

Yes. The woman who came into Carrabas with her husband will be writing back to the unknown man who watched her eat spaghetti at a restaurant from a distance.


3cl7

I mean what woman wouldn’t respond to such an offer? Sounds like a blast. Vroom! Vroom!


cl1

Nothing, and I mean nothing, gets the juices flowing more than listening to a metal version of Rebecca Black’s “Friday”


cl2

“Crazy sexy relations” for the win! Almost puked at the “sweatily bad” line.


cl4

  1. I have a lot of things running through my head about what he means by “crushed” and all of them are pretty gross.
  2. No 49 year old man should ever have someone saved in their phone as “Ass Girl.”

 cl6

Pretty tactful and understated post from my man right here… I really questioned the direction of this blog when I was editing this picture in Microsoft Paint. Lots of veins.


cl9

Pretty normal post here until you get to the part where he was “forced to leave” Marcs. Who gets forced to leave Marcs? Pretty sure anything goes in between the aisles there. I need to know what happened on that “one bad day.”


cl15

Swingers in the Dawg Pound?! Swingers in the Dawg Pound.


cl19

*throws up*

Alright. What the fuck. If you’re going to be weird on Craigslist you should probably turn your location off. Funny thing is, I’m from Willoughby (Hills) and know the area where this took place so there’s a slight chance I know this guy. I question his tactics.


cl20

I don’t know. I would have to venture to think that a woman walking into the wrong bathroom at a Steak N Shake isn’t exactly looking to hook up in the bathroom stall, ya know? Steak N Shake doesn’t exactly feel like the type of place where people would be down with that. But who knows, maybe she saw this guy taking a leak and wanted to get nuts. Who am I to judge?


This Week In Cleveland Craigslist Missed Connections

After a 12 day hiatus we’re back with a vengeance this week with our Cleveland Craiglist Missed Connections weekly feature. Searching the depths of Craigslist to bring you the finest missed connections postings from the finest Northeast Ohioans on the Internet. Some posts are looking for love, some are looking to hook up, none of them will work.

Let’s go

 

 

2cl3

Continuing our theme of “gas station or convenience store postings.” I’ll tell ya, these NE Ohio gas stations must be a breeding place for love or something because after sifting through these posts I’d say about 40% of these occur in line at a gas station.


2cl4

BRO. You’re posting about something from several YEARS ago?? Do you know how unlikely it is for someone to search Craigslist and make a connection with someone they saw an hour ago? But you think the random girl at Barley House (I think) will somehow remember that she smiled at you in 2012?!? This one has to be fake. I cannot believe someone as stupid as this exists.


2cl5

Haha. Dork. Take your poetry somewhere else you weirdo.


2cl6

Could this guy be any more clueless? Here, let this Family Guy clip break it down for you:


2cl7

I don’t know what you guys were talking about in regards to Playboy but I’d sure like to get your thoughts on their decision to stop showing nudity.


2cl8

“Would definitely kiss you.” Uh, thanks?


2cl9

“Hey you’re a fucking awful at playing the instrument that you probably spend hours upon hours practicing and devoting your life to… wanna go on a date?”


3cl1

MORE GAS STATIONS. Love this dude just casually slipping in “import sports car.” Hey, if I had an import sports car and didn’t drive a POS with no air conditioning and a radio that doesn’t get FM channels, I’d reference “my import sports car” so much it’d make your head spin.


3cl2

“Just the right amount of junk in the trunk.” Sure dude, let’s traumatize your kids once they find their dad hooking up with their teammate’s mom in the soccer field bathrooms.


3cl3

Sexy cougars eating donuts? Now I’m intrigued.


3cl4

Hey fucker, I’m trying to have a weekly blog feature here. Don’t let the Craigslist posters become self aware.


3cl5

Oh what the fuck.


And on that note, we’re out until next week.

This Week In Cleveland Craigslist Missed Connections

Welcome to the 2nd edition of “This Week In Cleveland Craigslist Missed  Connections.” Good batch this week from the weirdos who think posting in Craigslist about that girl they saw in line at Speedway will somehow get them laid. Let’s get started.

 

1cl11

Who knew the Eastlake Walmart was poppin like this? Lots of cat talk in this post, hopefully this guy gets some.


1cl12

Nothing says romance like Circle K, gyro chips, win, and Reese’s. Maybe these 2 Circle K jerkers can meet up later in that white Jeep and make their own yummy pie.


1cl13

Any 21 year old who willingly wants to hook up with 60 year old chicks needs to have their brain examined. I respect the double meaning of the “I’m good with my hands and enjoy fixing things in need.” Old girls probably love that.


1cl14

After 2 weeks of doing these I’ve noticed that 50% of these missed connections occur at gas stations or convenience stores while waiting in line. Love knows no bounds I guess.


1cl15

Well? Ladies? I bet this dude is a blast to Snap Chat with.


1cl16

Straight and to the point. Shooters keep shooting no matter what. I like the cut of this dude’s jib.


2cl1

  1. I’m pretty sure she’s ignoring you.
  2. Don’t use the C in reference to vaginas. Pretty sure that’s a no no.

 

2cl2

Read the above posting. Pretty weird, right? Now look to the right and see that this guy is 50 years old. And now I’ve never been more creeped out in my life. Wouldn’t be surprised if this guy likes to dance in front of a video camera and has a 15 foot hole in his house. In fairness though, I don’t know how anyone in their right mind would be able to turn down such a good offer.