Anything that could happen would end up happening as the entire NFL world was flipped on its head. Superstars switching teams every minute. Teams overspending and just launching suitcases full of cash at players. It was exhilarating as fuck.
We had Incarcerated Bob throwing shit against the wall to see what sticks (he was actually right about most stuff too), actual real life journalists getting fooled by fake Adam Schefter accounts (looking at you Pete King)
The real Adam Schefter was an absolute riot. This is what he lives for. This was his Super Bowl. As soon as 4 pm hit he had about 20 Twitter drafts sent out all at once. At one time during NFL Live he was the know it all kid in class who knew an answer to a question but the teacher didn’t call on him while he was raising his hand. He was squealing and rocking back and forth during a live telecast like a 5 year old who couldn’t WAIT to blurt out some breaking news.
It was an absolute circus once 4 o’clock hit and I loved every second of it.
Jimmy Graham got traded to the Seahawks. Sam Bradford got traded for Nick Foles. Darrelle Revis left a Super Bowl winning team to get PAID by the Jets along with Buster Skrine.
Now to the Browns. Hello? Is this thing on? Pretty sure the Browns were linked to almost every available free agent out there and linked to almost every quarterback that’s ever been on an NFL roster.
The Browns were one. RT @SI_PeterKing: There were other teams, multiple, involved in the chase for Bradford.
And what huge moves did our beloved men from Berea pull off? None. Goose egg. Nada. On a day when the NFL’s pets’ heads were falling off the Browns sat on their hands and didn’t sign one player. Now I know the Browns have said again and again that they plan on building through the draft but come on… just Brian Hartline isn’t enough to satisfy this fanbase. Gonna need something just a tad bit sexier. Hell, I’ll even take re-signing Jordan Cameron (remember I did say sexy). The free agents we got last year (Whitner, Dansby, Hawkins) were all major contributors during the season. Paul Kruger & Desmond Bryant were solid signings the year before. C’mon, let’s do something. I’m trying to win a Super Bowl here (lol?)
Wish list: Terrance Knighton, Cecil Shorts, Jordan Cameron. In that order.
After Odell Beckham Jr. threw down that dunk last week on Instagram, we started to wonder what it’d be like if the NFL held their own dunk contest. So in honor of the NBA Dunk Contest this weekend and us missing football already, here are 10 players in the NFL we’d like to see in a dunk contest.
Like every other red-blodded American you’ll be sitting in front of a TV, beer in one hand, pizza in the other, ready to watch the Patriots and Seahawks square off in Super Bowl 49.If you’re like me you probably have at least 10 or 11 different bets ready to go for the game. Aside from the normal betting lines, over/unders, player props, you’ll be throwing your hard earned money on the dumb random asinise stuff like the National Anthem length, coin flip, and the color of Katy Perry’s hair. There’s no greater thrill than betting the rent on the color of a pop star’s hair when she performs at halftime. It’s what separates the men from the boys.
The Super Bowl is when we’re gonna thrive. All of the countless & countless & COUNTLESS bets you lost during the fall football season are erased Sunday. Things like betting Ohio State football to win under 10 games and/or betting the Cavs to win over 59 games (I did both of these oops) are nullified once you nail that Gatorade shower color.
Let’s make some money Sunday
The Game
Patriots (-1.5) v Seahawks
OVER/UNDER 47.5
I don’t think Belichick & Brady lose 3 Super Bowls in a row. No way no how. With all the bullshit that’s been surrounding them the past 2 weeks I think they come out strong and win pretty handily.
Pick: Patriots and OVER
Player Prop Bets
First player to score a touchdown
Marshawn Lynch
+450
BET
Rob Gronkowski
+500
BET
LeGarrette Blount
+700
BET
Julian Edelman
+800
BET
Doug Baldwin
+1,200
BET
Russell Wilson
+1,200
BET
Brandon LaFell
+1,400
BET
Shane Vereen
+1,500
BET
Luke Willson
+1,600
BET
Jermaine Kearse
+1,600
BET
Robert Turbin
+2,000
BET
Danny Amendola
+2,500
BET
Cooper Helfet
+3,000
BET
Tom Brady
+3,000
BET
Field (Any Other Player)
+500
BET
No Touchdown Scored
+15,000
BET
I’ve never gotten one of these right so we’ll throw some money on Marshawn Lynch, Julian Edelman, and Shane Vereen.
All Other Prop Bets
OVER/UNDER National Anthem Length
Over- 2 minutes 1 second -140
Under- 2 minutes 1 second EVEN
The anthem is being sung by Idina Menzel (you know, the chick who sings Let It Go from Frozen)
Here’s her rendition at the 2014 All Star game. As you can see she’s SLOW. Dragging out notes, dramatic pauses, all that jazz. In her All-Star game rendition she was 1 minute 59.44 seconds. That’s just for the MLB All Star game which has what, like 1,000 viewers? The Super Bowl is the biggest stage in the world and Idina is gonna milk this thing.
Pick: OVER
Coin Toss
Haven’t gotten a coin toss wrong since Rams-Patriots.
Pick: TAILS
Which coach will be mentioned first after kickoff?
Which coach will be shown first on TV after kickoff?
Belichick -150 (both)
Pete Carroll +110 (both)
The beginning of the game is always about Belichick. It doesn’t matter who gets the ball first it’s going to be “And let’s see what Bill Belichick and the Patriots can do on offense” or “let’s see what Bill Belichick and the Patriots can do on defense.” This Super Bowl is all about Bill and the Patriots, don’t let anyone tell you differently.
Pick: Belichick for both bets
Bill Belichick hoodie style
Sleeves: +145
Sleeves cut: -185
The game is being played in a climate controlled environment. Everyone is saying no sleeves. You know Bill is aware of this prop bet and you know he’s aware that the cut sleeves are the favorite. This is why I’m picking sleeves. Bill is gonna give everyone the middle finger and stick it to the public once again.
Pick: Sleeves
Will “Uptown Funk” be used in a Super Bowl commercial?
Yes: +500
No: -100
You can’t walk five feet without hearing Bruno Mars belting out “Dont believe me just watch!” This song is EVERYWHERE. You know some commercial or movie trailer that’s shown in the third or fourth quarter will have it as their background music. This right here is my bet of the day. Hammer it.
Pick: YES
How many viewers will the game have
Over 113 million: -300
Under 113 million: +200
Here are the viewership numbers for the past 5 Super Bowls
44- 106 million
45- 111 million
46- 111.3 million
47- 108.4 million
48- 111.5 million
It’s been hovering in the 111-111.5 million range the past 4 years and I think this 2 week layoff that the NFL does kinda makes the game lose some momentum. However, with all the social media, with deflategate being a national talking point, and with Katy Perry performing at halftime, this game is going over 113 million.
Pick: OVER 113 million viewers
Katy Perry’s first song
Firework (3-2); Roar (3-2); This is How We Do (5-1); Dark Horse (12-1); E.T. (12-1); Wide Awake (12-1); Waking Up in Vegas (20-1)
Everyone and their mother is picking Roar but I don’t see it as a good opening song. I feel like Roar is more of a “rising action” song that builds to the climax (last song) which will undoubtedly be Firework. Wide Awake has that it factor, it just sounds like an opener to me.
Her last 10 shows have opened with Roar (yes I researched). You think she’s going to open with the same setlist she’s been using? Get the hell out of here. This is the Super Bowl, she’s switching things up… If it’s not Wide Awake then E.T. is another strong candidate as well.
Pick: Wide Awake
Will Katy Perry show cleavage?
Yes -500
No +350
Tens of millions of men across the United States will be heartbroken if it’s a no. Therefore it SHOULD be a yes. Do the right thing, Katy. Let ’em breathe.
It’s either going to be normal black/brown or purple. I don’t like the 2/1 odds for black so I’m going with purple.
Pick: PURPLE
A commercial will feature under-inflated footballs
Yes: +1,000
No: -1,000
Admittedly I don’t think that any commercial using Deflategate as a joke will sneak past the NFL but these odds are just too good to pass up. You’ve gotta throw a couple of bucks on yes and hope for a big payout.
Pick: YES
Gatorade Shower Color
Orange 3/2
Yellow 5/2
Clear/Water 3/1
Blue 13/2
Red 15/2
Green 12/1
Essentially this comes down to which team you think is going to win and what color Gatorade you think they’ll be drinking for the game. I’m picking the Patriots to win. In their past 3 Super Bowl wins they’ve had clear, and then twice have had no Gatorade bath because Belichick hates fun… I don’t know why but I’m leaning red. Wildcard, bitches.
Pick: Red
Who will the MVP thank first?
Teammates
8/5
God
2/1
Fans/City
6/1
Owner
12/1
Coach
15/1
Family
15/1
Does not mention any of the above
5/2
Again, this bet focuses mostly on who you think will win the game. If the Patriots win I think the MVP will be Brady or Gronk. Brady is 100% going to thank his teammates or the organization while Gronk will probably thank Fireball whisky or the person who invented 69’ing.
If you think the Seahawks will win, Russell Wilson is a good pick for MVP. He’s undoubtedly thanking God. Now if the Seahawks win we have to pray that Marshawn Lynch somehow wins the MVP and thanks himself or just doesn’t talk at all.
Bottlegate 