Tag Archives: super bowl

Guy Is So Stoned After Getting His Wisdom Teeth Out That He Thinks The Browns Are Going To The Super Bowl

Ah, to be young, stoned, and an eternal optimist again.

Whatever this kid is on I want double the dosage everyday for the rest of my life. That’s gotta be some strong shit.

Here’s the backstory from the man himself:


Not a .500 record. Not a wild card berth in the playoffs. The Super Bowl. He’s so out of it that he thinks the Browns (at 200-1) will be representing the AFC in the biggest sporting event in America. Hey, if RGIII shocks people, the defense comes together, and our rookie class contributes…….

So he thinks he’s downtown and going to the Browns game. Fair enough.  But is he really that different than someone who’s been in the Muni Lot for 5 straight hours?

Best part

OK, Jim you’re bleeding

No, I’ll bleed for the Browns


Couldn’t have scripted something so perfect.




The Norton Furniture guy was in a freaking Super Bowl commercial

(h/t Cleveland Scene)

Gold. Solid bars of pure gold.

I don’t know if it’s just me or what but I feel like I haven’t seen one of these puppies in quite some time. After going to school in New York for four years and living in North Carolina for one, I had almost forgotten about the 30 second installments of sensual raspiness that Norton Furniture treats Northeastern Ohioans. Mark got himself back on my radar last night in a BIG way. His advocacy of Taco Bell’s new Quesalupa was the only Super Bowl commercial that got the rewind button some action at our party (Mashable explains their whole marketing campaign here. Spoiler alert, it’s genius.)

So in honor of your boy finally getting his cup of coffee in the advertising big leagues, we’ve power ranked his top 5 performances of all time.

5. “The Candidate

4. “Super Hero”

3. “Let the man live!”

2. “Frog on a couch and guy with hedge clippers”

1. “Labor”

Revisiting the Bottlegate 2015 Super Bowl Betting Guide: Breakdown & Recap

Link to the betting guide that was posted yesterday

We came. We saw. We conquered. If you took any of the advice from yesterday’s post there’s a chance you’ve probably already quit your job and/or are on your way to an all inclusive resort in the Bahama paid for by all your winnings from yesterday.

Let’s look at the tape:

Patriots (-2) & OVER/UNDER 47.5

Patriots won by 4 and the game total was 52

Easy money.



First player to score a touchdown

The pick: Marshawn Lynch, Julian Edelman, Shane Vereen

Like I said in the post, I’ve NEVER gotten one of these right. Brandon LaFell was +1,400 so hopefully some of you hit on that.



OVER/UNDER National Anthem Length

The pick: Over 2 minutes and 1 second

Never a doubt. You know Idina was going to bring the flair and dramatics to the biggest sporting event in the world. Only a sucker would’ve bet the under.

It seems people had some insider info on the anthem length because it was taken off the board on some sites


Coin Toss

Pick: Tails

Too easy. Tails never fails.


Which coach will be mentioned first after kickoff & which coach will be shown first after kickoff?

Pick: Belichick for both.

This Super Bowl was all about Bill and the Patriots


Bill Belichick’s hoodie: Sleeves or no sleeves?

Pick: Sleeves

Like I said, Belichick knew about this prop bet and knew cut off sleeves were the favorite. He 100% wore sleeves just to spite everyone.


Will Uptown Funk be used in a commercial?

Pick Yes +500

Bet of the day comes through.


How many viewers will the game have?

Pick: Over 113 million

There were 114.4 people that tuned in.


Katy Perry’s first song

Pick: Wide Awake

Really really messed this one up. Tried going for it all with the 12/1 odds with Wide Awake and not just going with the easy 3/2 odds with Roar. It’s called gambling for a reason. Losers take the safe route. Pretty sure she didn’t even sing Wide Awake.


Will Katy Perry show cleavage?

Pick: Yes

Was honestly hoping for more but this was easy enough. When you’re blessed with the beautiful gifts that Katy is blessed with you make sure the entire country gets an eyeful.

Left shark killed it.


Katy Perry’s hair color

Pick: Purple

Tried to out think myself again and I did. I said it would either be purple or black/brown and it ended up being black.


A commercial will feature under-inflated footballs

Pick: Yes +1,000

Said that this probably wouldn’t happen and alas, it didn’t. The +1,000 was too juicy to pass up though


Gatorade bath color

Pick: Red

I picked red not really thinking it would be red since yellow mostly wins these all the time. Surprise surprise it ended up being blue.


Who will the MVP thank first?

Pick: Teammates

Good ol Tommy Touchdown thanking the men around him. What a guy.


Final Count 11 wins and 5 losses with most of the losses being on longshots that you wouldn’t put any significant money on anyway. Hopefully you guys took the advice and won some cash.

And with that cash that you won, you should visit our store and score some t-shirts