From Cleveland.com:

“SPRINGFIELD TOWNSHIP, Ohio — A Springfield Township man is jailed after he smashed three-dozen of his neighbors’ windows with a baseball bat and threw a meat-wrapped brick into a one of the homes, police said.

Timothy Ambach, 43, is charged with two counts of felony vandalism. His bond was set at $10,000 Tuesday at his first appearance in Akron Municipal Court.

Ambach became angry at his neighbors believing they were somehow involved in a motorcycle theft at his Angelterre Boulevard home, Springfield Township Police Sgt. Eric East said.

He broke 34 windows on the residents’ homes, garages and cars. The amount of damage has yet to be totaled but court records say it was more than $10,000. The car at one home was totaled. 

Ambach smashed several large windows and 11 garage windows at his next-door neighbor’s home. He also threw the brick wrapped in meat inside a plastic bag through one window.”

The state of Ohio is a lot of things, friends. But a place that prevents criminals from spreading their creative wings is not one of them.

We had a prisoner escape jail by simply walking out the front door last September. The “fucking commander”, who is not a Cleveland police officer, flashed a Cleveland police badge in order to get out of a $2.25 bus fare a month later. We’ve got strangers hiding in vans and punching women in the stomach, gangsters dropping air conditioning units on 50-year-olds and fugitives on the run for half a century. Ohio is the Silicon Valley of the criminal underworld.

And just when you think you’ve seen it all…..ladies and gentlemen, Timothy Ambach. Unless there’s some cultural reference I’m unaware of, wrapping a brick in meat and firing it through your neighbor’s window is without a doubt the most incredible thing I’ve ever read. The thought process that led up to the weaponization of beef is something I will forever dream about experiencing. He’s the John Nash of temper tantrums. The Isaac Newton of hysterics. Timmy’s the goddamn professor of pandemonium, and class is in session. His fury is next-level.

 

PS Police found two pot plants inside his house afterwards. He was also arrested in May for having an unloaded gun and a jar of Mary Jane in his passenger seat after being pulled over.

You broke my heart, Timothy. You broke my heart.