2 kangaroos fighting isn’t the video you wanted, it’s the one you needed

The music to this fight sucks so mute the kangaroo video and press play on the video below to hear some crunk

Never have I seen such a mean spirited fight with this amount of vitriol since Tyson-Holyfield circa 1997. Standing upright on their hind legs, this honestly just looks like 2 drunk guys fighting on the deck at Shooters. Like if it was dark enough and I was drunk enough I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between these two fighting Joeys or 2 guys named Joe wearing Affliction t-shirts swinging on each other. Incredible.  Talk about “Thunder From Down Under” (talk to me Rovell). I don’t know how these kangaroos withstood all those turbo kicks and not once did one of them get fully knocked to the ground. I love how they use their tail to balance when they kick too, it’s almost like they have a third leg a la Greg Oden.

If you think we only do sports here at Bottlegate, you’re nuts. If we see a video of 2 kangaroos fighting we’re posting it 100 out of 100 times.

Down goes Frasier!! Down goes Frasier!!

PS- I know this may be a few days old but if you can’t appreciate a video of 2 kangaroos fighting set to Lil Jon then I imagine you don’t have many friends.

Morning Mishmash- Bowflex tattoo, preschooler with heroin, Manziel’s girlfriend

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In the least shocking statement of all time, St. Louis Cardinals fans are dicks.

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A cop guarding Nick Saban gives a fan a Grade A stiff arm.

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An AWESOME read from WFNY about a Browns fan stationed in Afghanistan.

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Chris Bosh is the girl who can’t get over her ex boyfriend

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The SEC is overrun with STD’s and it’s hilarious

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Grantland profiles the Cavs

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Johnny Manziel’s girlfriend is easy on the eyes

http://instagram.com/p/t1GMEolAxk/?modal=true

 

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Admirable man gets tattoo of a Bowflex machine. Do you even lift, bro?

bowflex-tat

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Party animal preschooler passes out mommy’s heroin to her classmates. I don’t see the problem here. Turn down for that.

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Vine of the day: This baby doesn’t give a fuck who you are

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The Cavs preseason intro video will give you a Cleveland boner

A nice ode to the 2008-2009 season with the Jeezy music.

Here’s the ’08-’09 verson:

Let’s compare the two:

08-09 roster (in order of appearance)

  • LeBron James (decent player)
  • Zydrunas Ilgauskas (Cavs hall of famer, 2x all star)
  • Terrance Kinsey (who?)
  • Wally Sczerbiak (good looking white guy who could shoot)
  • Delonte West (had an affinity for moms or something)
  • Lorenzen Wright (12x NBA all star)
  • JJ Hickson (broken jump shot)
  • Mo Williams (decent, choked in the playoffs)
  • Ben Wallace (great defender, skills diminished while in Cleveland)
  • Sasha Pavlovic (bum)
  • Darnell Jackson (umm..played at Kansas?)
  • Anderson Varejao (the Wild thing, fan favorite)
  • Jawad Williams (saw him on West 6th one night)
  • Boobie Gibson (parlayed 1 good ECF game into a fat contract, married a nice, proper, professional young woman)

Related: Kyrie and Kevin Love freestyling in Brazil

2014 Intro Video roster

  • Kyrie Irving (2x all star, All star MVP, FIBA world championship MVP)
  • Dion Waiters (4th pick in 2012 NBA draft)
  • Kevin Love (too many accolades to list. really really good)
  • Anderson Varejao (one of 2 players from the 08-09 team)
  • Mike Miller (deadly 3 point shooter)
  • Brendan Haywood (serviceable big man)
  • LeBron James (has blossomed into an above average player)
  • James Jones (3 point champ in 2011)
  • Joe Harris (good looking white rookie from Virginia)
  • Matthew Dellavedova (Aussie hustle)
  • Shawn Marion (4x NBA all star)
  • Tristan Thompson (selected 4th in 2011 NBA draft)
  • Ray Allen (soon)

Incredible. The fact that the 2008-2009 team went 66-16 may be the biggest miracle in sports history. Look at that squad! Compare the two rosters and it’s honestly hard to see the Cavs finishing below 70 wins this season. Vegas has the OVER/UNDER on Cavs wins this season set at 58.5. Here’s a little Bottlegate advice for you- HAMMER the over and thank me later while we’re Scrooge McDucking into our riches.

PS- The second all of our posts go live, they’re posted HERE. We’re fun I swear.

PPS- If someone doesn’t buy me this Kevin Love shirt, then I have lost faith in all of our readers

PPPS- Hi new readers, welcome to Bottlegate. Can I get you something to drink? Take your shoes off, stay awhile and explore the site.