Use the comments section, Twitter and Facebook to chirp me. Will include any and all questions/comments/cuss words.

Well hey. At least the Royals only beat the White Sox 10-1 and David Price only threw 8.2 scoreless innings today. Tribe loses 2-0 on Opening Day. No talking on the bus ride back to the hotel.

9:40 Luke Gregerson kicks the Tribe in the dick, pushes them off the front porch and slams the door in their face. Tribe musters 3 hits, loses 2-0 in game 1.

9:37 Brantley grounds out and your 1-3 hitters go 0-12 on Opening Day.

9:37 Your Yellawood (?) Lumber play of the game was a Luis Valbuena diving stop. So there’s that.

9th inning

9:34 Well here we go, down 2-0 heading to the top of the 9th against the Houston Astros on Opening Day, just like we all drew it up.

9:33 #FactsOnly

9:33 A gallon of milk was a quarter when Scott Atchison was a kid

9:30 Sac fly scores Lowrie, doubles up the lead. Freakin Dolans.

9:29 Meanwhile, Atchdaddy comes in to try and get out of this first and third, one out jam

9:27 Single from Rasmus brings Lowrie around to third and Kluber to the dugout. Hell of an outing from our Cy Young winner. Can’t wait till he’s in midseason form

9:25 Lowrie gets ball four (and five), draws a walk. Kluber still in. I’m pretty good at this.

9:21 Klubes back out for the 8th with 91 pitches. Have to imagine he’ll get the hook if they somehow get a baserunner

9:19 Make that 0-11 from the first three hitters in the Indians order. That ain’t gonna do it. 1-0 Astros

9:14 Ramirez chases a high curveball and we’re down to 5 outs. Bourn-Kip-Brantley combined 0-9 tonight.

9:11 Tony Sipp on for Houston. Ready…………go!

8th inning

9:09 Gomes rocking the red bill, blue top Wahoo catcher’s helmet tonight. I could be wrong but I don’t think we’ve seen that in a while. Leonard with a nice snag on a Chris Carter line drive to end the 7th. 1-0 bad guys.

9:02 That one stung a little bit. First and second no out, nothing to show for it. Poor Klubes.

9:00 And Leonard follows with a nubber of his own to end the inning. Like it’s this offense’s first game or something.

8:58 Quality from Raburn there. Nubs one down third and gets gunned down by Keuchel for the second time tonight. Sweet Jesus, unhitch the trailer man

8:56 Moss had a chance to jump right into Indians fans hearts there. He struck out.

8:54 I’ve never really watched Keuchel pitch before. Dude can spot it.

8:51 Santana leadoff single, Gomes rips one down third, naturally an unbelievable stop from Valbuena but the Thrillin Brazillian legs it out. First and second no out with Tony Sipp in the pen. Me likey

7th inning

8:48 Springer yanks an outside pitch for a two-out RBI single but gets caught in a pickle and is tagged out trying for two. Indians must think it’s Cliff Lee out there on the mound tonight. Get the man some support! 1-0 bad guys after 6

8:46 Altuve breaks up the no-hit bid and promptly steals second. Jk he’s not adorable

8:44 Do you think Kluber ever swears out loud?

8:41 Two two-seamers inside to Rasmus completely lock him up. My goodness I love watching this man pitch.

8:37 Brantley got into one a bit to left but Miss Rasmus made a nice leaping catch. This might be the first game in history that both pitchers throw 14-inning complete games. One of which being a shutout.

8:36 Not one hard hit ball yet for the Tribe. Not one.

8:32 That Taco Bell commercial with the grandma flashing the grandpa is absolutely not okay.

6th inning

8:31 Still 0-0 through five. This game is Exhibit A for people who think baseball is too boring (and have no idea what they’re talking about)

8:26 And the first “oh shit” moment of the season comes courtesy of a warning track flyout from Chris Carter. Seen him have worse looking swings than that that’ve left the yard before.

8:22 Leonard draws a walk but the beard shaves the Tribe again in the 5th. (drops mic)

8:17 Also looking like Manning’s go-to line for replays this year is gonna be “close enough”

8:17 Moss works a leadoff walk. Just need one tonight I’m thinkin’.

5th inning

8:12 The Janitor lines out to Dr. Smooth and we’re still tied at zilch after four.

8:09 Valbuena hitting third for the Stros, Droobs hit third earlier today for the Rays. Good day for below average ex-Indians

8:05 I miss Katie Witham

8:03 Just checked to see how my fantasy squad is doing. Remind me not to do that again.

8:02 13/14 first pitch strikes for Keuchel. That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

7:59 Tribe just not squaring anything up against Keuchel. First team to score wins?

4th Inning

7:54 

Score remains 0-0 after 3.

7:52 So the Red Sox just signed Rick Porcello to a 4 year, $82.5 million dollar deal. Make sure to thank the big man upstairs that your baseball team is run by Mark Shapiro and Chris Antonetti before you lay your heads down tonight, Cleveland.

7:49 Colby Rasmus gets lost on his way to the girls softball field and somehow finds his way to first base

7:47 Always liked Jed Lowrie but there’s a special place in baseball hell for people who keep batting gloves in their pockets while they’re hitting using batting gloves

7:43 Bournie having a rough go so far. First pitch of the game was way down, called a strike, got boned on that check swing

7:40 And good ol Leonard Baseball gets the Tribe in the hits column with an oppo single. Let’s see if Dallas can deal from the stretch too

7:38 Also, Dallas Keuchel can pitch for my squad any day. Pounding the zone, wasting zero time out there

7:38 Low strike zone tonight. Lowwwwwwwwww.

3rd Inning

7:35 Welp, anyone worried that Kluber had a fluke season last year, rest easy my friends. Remains 0-0 after 2

7:31 Evan Gattis used to be a janitor. Talk about Great White Hope

7:28 Oh and Moss. Keuchel strikes out the side. Way Too Early Prediction But Not Really: gonna be a long year when we face soft tossing lefties

7:28 I take two minutes to reformat this thing so the newest blurbs are at the top and Santana and Gomes K

7:23 Pretty snappy first inning. I just might make the Better Call Saul finale tonight

2nd Inning

7:21 Kluber cutter sighting! Kluber cutter sighting! 0-0 after 1.

7:19 Big league play on that dribbler by Ramirez. Droobs make that play? Lolz

7:18 Jose Altuve is just adorable, isn’t he?

7:14 Well that didn’t take long. Tribe goes down in order. And the WTAM feed is a solid 15 seconds behind the tv. Other than that..

7:12 From the ball I’ve watched today (White Sox Royals, Dodgers Padres), the boys in blue seem to still be in Spring Training

7:10 First pitch. Ball down that’s called a strike. F***ing bulls***.

1st Inning

7:09 Pretty sure Tito said pregame that Yan is hitting 5th only because of the lefty, Moss’ll probably be there against righties…quite honestly I’m fine either way

7:05 Going to try to play the WTAM feed with the MLB At Bat app on my phone through the soundbar while watching STO…a night of firsts (and things that probably won’t work) here at Bottlegate

Pregame

—————————————————————————————

Well let’s see how this goes. Bottlegate’s first ever live blog and I have absolutely NO idea what I’m doing. But I do know the Cleveland Indians play in a couple minutes and I’m pretty god damned excited about it. And if you’re not, after a weekend where we locked up the reigning AL Cy Young winner and our #2 starter for 4-5 more years, well then you’re simply not an Indians fan my friend. After the Kluber & Carrasco deals, here’s a look at the contract situation for most of our core guys (image courtesy of my esteemed former colleague @NeastWS)

And sorry, “Teh Dolanz R Cheep” fans, but our Opening Day payroll is the second highest in team history (at least $87M, second to $93M in 2001, thanks @MattB_WOF). So jump on board already. There’s still plenty of room.

Here’s tonight’s starting lineups:

Indians

1. Michael Bourn CF

2. Jason Kipnis 2B

3. Michael Brantley LF

4. Carlos Santana 1B

5. Yan Gomes C

6. Brandon Moss RF

7. Ryan Raburn DH

8. Lonnie Chisenhall 3B

9. Jose Ramirez SS

SP Corey Kluber

 

Astros

1. Jose Altuve 2B

2. George Springer RF

3. Luis Valbuena 3B

4. Evan Gattis DH

5. Chris Carter 1B

6. Jason Castro C

7. Jed Lowrie SS

8. Colby Rasmus LF

9. Jake Marisnick CF

SP Dallas Keuchel

 

15ish minutes-ish to first pitch. Keep your browsers locked right here. But refresh the page every so often cause I can’t figure out how to make that happen automatically.