Hey girls, don’t flash the cops if you just put a crack pipe in your bra

lizjohnson

From Cleveland.com:

“ELYRIA, Ohio — A Lorain woman is facing criminal charges after a crack pipe fell out of her bra while she flashed a police officer during a traffic stop, according to an arrest report. 

Elizabeth L. Johnson, 49, is charged with possession of cocaine, obstructing official business, and possession of drug paraphernalia. She is scheduled to appear in Elyria Municipal Court Monday afternoon.

Officers convinced her to get out of the car, but she continued to yell and was uncooperative, police said. She insisted that she did not have anything illegal.

“Fine, you want to see what I have,” she said, according to the report. She lifted up her shirt and bra and the crack pipe fell to the ground, the report says. 

The pipe tested positive for cocaine, according to police.”

Initial impressions? Not the best planning from Liz here. There’s only a few situations that could play out worse for a woman than flashing an officer of the law, but doing so after deliberately trying to hide a crack pipe in their bra is one of them.

However, upon further review, I don’t think this move is as absurd as the headline makes it sound. It’s a perfectly valid last-ditch effort if you ask me, borderline genius. Like the sticky bombs in Saving Private Ryan, or that one old basketball clip of the kid getting down on all fours and barking like a dog to distract the other team. It was worth a shot. She barricaded herself in a locked car with a crack pipe in her sweater that the cops watched her put there. Sure, the execution left a bit to be desired but the situation didn’t exactly offer a whole bunch of other options. Why not try and use what I can only surmise is a dreadful situation in her shirt as a positive? Would have to think the cops initial reaction would be to look away and not see the pipe, thus giving the illusion she has nothing to hide and possibly defusing the situation. But, like I always say, planning only gets you so far when you’re hiding paraphernalia in your undergarments. I hope Liz will learn from this loss and come back stronger in her next showdown with the fuzz.

PS Forever and always, Cleveland.com commenters

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