Tag Archives: lorain county

Hey girls, don’t flash the cops if you just put a crack pipe in your bra

lizjohnson

From Cleveland.com:

“ELYRIA, Ohio — A Lorain woman is facing criminal charges after a crack pipe fell out of her bra while she flashed a police officer during a traffic stop, according to an arrest report. 

Elizabeth L. Johnson, 49, is charged with possession of cocaine, obstructing official business, and possession of drug paraphernalia. She is scheduled to appear in Elyria Municipal Court Monday afternoon.

Officers convinced her to get out of the car, but she continued to yell and was uncooperative, police said. She insisted that she did not have anything illegal.

“Fine, you want to see what I have,” she said, according to the report. She lifted up her shirt and bra and the crack pipe fell to the ground, the report says. 

The pipe tested positive for cocaine, according to police.”

Initial impressions? Not the best planning from Liz here. There’s only a few situations that could play out worse for a woman than flashing an officer of the law, but doing so after deliberately trying to hide a crack pipe in their bra is one of them.

However, upon further review, I don’t think this move is as absurd as the headline makes it sound. It’s a perfectly valid last-ditch effort if you ask me, borderline genius. Like the sticky bombs in Saving Private Ryan, or that one old basketball clip of the kid getting down on all fours and barking like a dog to distract the other team. It was worth a shot. She barricaded herself in a locked car with a crack pipe in her sweater that the cops watched her put there. Sure, the execution left a bit to be desired but the situation didn’t exactly offer a whole bunch of other options. Why not try and use what I can only surmise is a dreadful situation in her shirt as a positive? Would have to think the cops initial reaction would be to look away and not see the pipe, thus giving the illusion she has nothing to hide and possibly defusing the situation. But, like I always say, planning only gets you so far when you’re hiding paraphernalia in your undergarments. I hope Liz will learn from this loss and come back stronger in her next showdown with the fuzz.

PS Forever and always, Cleveland.com commenters

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O look here’s Bigfoot spotted taking an afternoon stroll in Lorain County

From Cryptozoology News 

LAGRANGE, Ohio– An intensive-care nurse snapped a picture of what she believes could be a “Sasquatch” creature in northeastern Ohio.

The photograph, released on internet forum The Gear Page by a musician named Gurtz who claims to be the cousin of the eyewitness, was reportedly taken at 2:30 p.m. on Jan. 11, 2015.

 

“She works nights in ICU,” Gurtz said. “She’s really freaked out about it,” he added, “she says could have only been a Sasquatch.”

***

Welp. That 1 small, blurry, zoomed out picture is all the proof I need! We officially have a new 7 foot hairy, stinky neighbor here in Northeast Ohio. Someone get Bobo and Cliff on the scene here STAT. Renee can stay at home, she stinks.

Quick, tell me if you see any differences in the 2 pics below. 1 is the totally real not fake at all Bigfoot, the other is some creepy guy (me) dressed up in a gorilla mask.

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Can you tell which is which? I certainly can’t. Surprised picture #2 hasn’t been submitted to the Bigfoot Internet forums. It’s pretty much the same creature that was spotted in the Patterson-Gimlin film.

Ohio State just won a national championship, the Cavs have won 2 in a row and beat a good Clippers team last night, and we just confirmed a Samsquanch lives in the area. Life is good here in Ohio I’d say

Pretty sure we already had a confirmed sighting of Bigfoot in the Muni Lot earlier this year but whatever

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