All posts by Ai

Kevin Love explained his decision to stay in Cleveland to The Players’ Tribune

From ThePlayersTribune.com:

“Last week I announced here that I was re-signing with the Cavaliers. Today, the deal is inked and I can officially say I’m going to stay a Cav.

Now that free agency is over, I get to focus on the game that I grew up loving. The same game I grew up watching on TV and playing in the driveway against my dad. I talked to my parents and other people that I trust about my plans and they all said basically the same thing: We just want you to be happy. And that was it for me because I just want to focus on basketball.

So that’s what I’m going to do, focus on basketball and get back on the court ready for the start of the season.

But before that, I wanted to break down some of my thoughts and expand on my announcement last week … starting with the gut-wrenching feeling I had watching the Warriors hoist the trophy after Game 6 of the Finals.

Check it out here:”

God DAMNIT I love this man. First he verbally commits to returning to Cleveland, then he gets naked for us, then he reaffirms his….love….for us the morning after one of the crazier sports plot lines in recent memory in the DeAndre Jordan saga. I will hereby refer to July as the Month of Love until his number zero jersey hangs from the rafters of Quicken Loans Arena.

Kevin’s just a different type of dude. He’s a chill Cali bro who doesn’t really play the media like most other superstars do. You can tell in post games when he’s talking with his head down in front of his locker, and even in this video when they pan to him picking his fingers. He’s just not that comfortable with the song and dance. But he sure does love the game of basketball. He lights up in this interview when he talks about it. Playing it, watching it, learning about it from his dad. He just wants to put all this business behind him and get back out on the court. That’s a guy I want on my squad seven days a week.

Their fans are just so great. They’re die hard. As we like to say, they’re “all in”. They love their athletes. They love their Cavaliers.”

We got our hands on LeBron’s leaked travel diary from the Bahamas

BOTTLEGATE EXCLUSIVE. A “tipster” in the Bahamas found a copy of LeBron’s Travel Diary on the beach and sent it in. According to the tipster, the original diary was typed in Comic Sans.

diaryheader

8:00  Just woke up. Pretty hungover from Wine Night with the boyz yesterday. Things got pretty crazy.

8:15-8:30  Was just scrolling through Instagram looking at some perfect booties when D-Wade’s pic came up. NO WAY he remembers this, we were pretty bombed. Why is Chris so pissed? Melo is so faded. Ha!

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8:30-9:30  Joined CP3 for breakfast. He bitched about DeAndre Jordan the whole time! He also made fun of Blake Griffin’s hair. I told him Glen Davis was his starting Center and that shut him up real quick. He looked like he was about to cry. Poor Chris.

9:30-10:30  Sat around the pool with the other 3 and listened to Carmelo’s conversation with his wife LaLa. That bitch cray.

10:30-11  The conversation switched to James Harden and Khloe Kardashian. The group wondered why the MVP Runner-Up is going after the ugly Kardashian. Carmelo made a Scott Disick joke. Chris Paul admitted he’s watched the Ray J/Kim K film multiple times. I saw it once, it was “meh.”

11-12  Banana Boat with the crew. Carmelo doesn’t join us in the water again because he’s read about too many shark attacks in the news. There’s a reason why we all sat behind Gabrielle…  #ass

Owned CP3 in our “Quad-Off” too. Check my legs compared to everyone else’s #StriveForBigQuads

(photograph courtesy of Melo)

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12-1  Chris Bosh roast session. We went IN.

1-2  PARASAILING TIME BITCHES!!!

2-2:15  Chris Paul gets a text on his phone. Says he’s “Gotta go save DJ.” Weird. He immediately packs up and leaves.

2:15-3  Laugh at Bomani Jones and Chris Broussard’s Twitter argument about abstinence. We anointed Broussard as “King of the Squares”

3-3:10  I prank call Broussard a few times pretending to be Dan Gilbert, Joe Johnson, a hooker, and Phil Jackson

3:10 -3:30  We start chatting about my new movie “Trainwreck,” Dwyane poses a question and asks the group what they think of Amy Schumer. The group describes her as a “PAWG” and definitely “do-able.” I tell them I brought a copy and we’re DEFINITELY watching it tonight.

3:30-4:30  Chill in my room and watch Shark Week. Get some texts about emojis or something. Don’t know what they’re talking about.

4:30-5:30 Nap So Hard 

5:30-7:30  Pre-Screening of my new flick Trainwreck in my private cabana. Invited tons of chicks. Everyone LOL’ed so so hard at my “Sexual Intercourse!” line. Pretty sure I’m the next Denzel.

7:30-7:40  Just remembered what I did exactly 5 years ago today. OOPS! Sorry Ohio.

7:40-8  Got dressed for dinner. White tees on deck! Bout to smash so much food.

8-9:30  Dinner at our All Inclusive resort. Tried so many different foods. Dwyane and I started making fun of Carmelo for tanking and then drafting that bum Porcupine or Porzingis or whatever his name is. Carmelo muttered something that sounded like “yeah, because the triangle fucking sucks” then stormed off to his room.

9:30-10:30  Pregame with Dwyane and Gabs. Ciroc and LeBron’s Sprite Remix on deck!

10:30-12  So turnt right now. Writing this and can barely see straight. Just got a text from Chris. He said he gave DeAndre like 10 high gives in their meeting. Haaaaa!!!! BTW, what’s up with TT’s contract? Can I sign yet?

12  Just got fooooood. Club was lit. Taking my talents to sleep now. Zero Dark 23 activated.

 

 

 

Guy rips massive fart in Stark County courtroom and the judge freaks out

Premeditated flatulence if I’ve ever seen it. One of those ones that brings a smile to your face when you feel it brewin’ ten minutes before liftoff.

Can you imagine being this cat’s public defender? Sitting there watching the proceedings and your client just lifts his cheek and absolutely RIPS one.  “Fuck it. I’m out. Have at him Your Honor.”

Also the fact that no one in the clip so much as cracks a smile goes to show you that farts are not necessarily always funny. Probably should have anticipated that his buddies wouldn’t be yucking it up when he fired away while their futures potentially hung in the balance.

PS- We know this is in Ohio because of the website on the projection screen in the beginning of the video:

www.Starkcjis.com