We here at Bottlegate could give you the same old, boring, and unoriginal “Top 10 Browns players this season” or “Top 10 Browns quarterbacks since 1999” lists that have been beaten into the ground time and time again. Snore. Or we could spice it up and not be robotic like every other Top 10 Cleveland list out there and try and generate a little fun hypothetical discussion. Which Browns players would you least like to fight inside of the octagon? Toe to toe. Man to man. Either way I know I wouldn’t want to be inside a ring with anyone player on the Browns, that’s for damn sure.
We break it down for you and also provide what we think their entrance music should be and what finishing move would suit them the best.
10. Paul Kruger 6’4 270 lbs, 28 years old- First thought that comes to mind is Paul Bunyan. He looks like he’s got that wilderness forest strength to him. Probably spent his childhood cutting down Giant Redwoods and bench pressing Mountain Lions. He’s not higher on the list because he’s from Utah. Utah people are too weird.
- Entrance music: Metallica- For Whom the Bell Tolls
- Finisher: Jackknife Powerbomb
- Johnny Manziel 5’11 3/4 210 lbs, 21 years old- “But Mike, how are you gonna put a 5’11 twenty one year old quarterback on here?” It’s not as much about him as it is about the company he keeps. Have you seen who he hangs with? Floyd Mayweather. Ever heard of him? Only the best boxer in the world. Mess with Johnny you better believe he’s calling up his boys and you better watch your back.
Thats a rough & rowdy crew right there
- Entrance music: Drake- Trophies (obviously)
- Finisher: Crippler Crossface
- Spencer Lanning 5’11 200 lbs, 26 years old- A punter? Yes. A punter. Spencer has already shown this year that he can take a brutal kick to the face. Obviously Spencer’s strength would be his leg kicks. I’ve seen MMA fights, I know the damage a well placed kick can do. And besides, anyone with this much patriotism flowing through their veins deserves a spot on this list.
- Entrance music: Real American
- Finisher- Sweet Chin Music
- Phil Taylor 6’3 335 lbs, 26 years old- Would be the obvious choice for number one… but he’s currently being rolled around on Lazy Boy chairs after he underwent surgery on his leg. He still cracks the top 10 even if he is about 3 days post-surgery. You would actually lose in a fight to him while he never got up out of his recliner.
- Entrance music: X gon’ give it to ya
- Finisher: Whatever Mark Henry’s finisher is
- Isaiah Crowell 5’11 225 lbs, 21 years old- Someone who runs with such force and reckless abandon makes this list 100 out of 100 times.
- Entrance music: Raven’s WWE Entrance theme
- Finisher: Elbow off the top rope
Stay tuned for the top 5 coming at ya tomorrow
Bottlegate 