Category Archives: Cleveland

Cleveland Guy Gets Drunk, Climbs In A Dumpster To Fall Asleep, Wakes Up In A Garbage Truck

Cleveland.com

CLEVELAND, Ohio – A Cleveland man became trapped in a garbage truck after he fell asleep in a dumpster early Monday, police said.

The 29-year-old man was taken to a hospital with minor injuries after he was found about 5 a.m. outside Speedway gas station on the 2000 block of Broadway Road, Cleveland police spokeswoman Sgt. Jennifer Ciaccia said.

A Waste Management driver called 911 after he heard banging in the back of his truck, police said. Cleveland firefighters opened the truck, and the man rolled out along with a large pile of trash.

He was taken to MetroHealth with a fractured ankle.

The man told investigators he fell asleep in a dumpster at an unknown location after a day of heavy drinking, Ciaccia said.


Ha. Classic! Who hasn’t drank 17 Bud Lights and 9 shots of Fireball and fallen asleep in a dumpster? Come to think of it, a dumpster is honestly one of the better places to go and pass out if you’re drunk. When I was a young whippersnapper in my partying days I would always try to find the place where the least amount of people were milling about and try to fall asleep there. Sometimes it’d be a bed, sometimes a bathroom, or sometimes under a table. Just some place where I wouldn’t be when my asshole drunk friends came around looking for a passed out face to draw dicks on with permanent marker. Everyone has friends like that, right? Thankfully I never woke up with a face full of marker but I’ve seen many people who have.

So I applaud this guy. Maybe it wasn’t the best place to fall asleep, but it was certainly one of the safest. Sure he almost got smashed to death in a garbage truck, but at least he didn’t wake up looking like these people:

Naked guy jumps through a closed window in East Cleveland

From Cleveland.com:

“CLEVELAND, Ohio — A Cleveland man jumped naked out of a closed window to escape three men who attacked him and threatened to burn him alive.

Raymond Stewart, 49, and Thomas Watts Jr., 46, are both charged with first-degree felony kidnapping. A third man who participated in the attack has not yet been identified by investigators.

Stewart ordered the man to take his clothes off as Watts and the third man surrounded him, according to court records. The man was knocked to the ground with a punch to the face.

The trio stomped on him and kicked him while he was on the ground. The third man then told the others to “grab the kerosene from the garage,” court records say.

The man got up and jumped out of a closed window. He ran to a home on the opposite side of the next block, in the 3600 block of East 59th Street.

The man hid in a van at that home until police arrived, court records say.”

The list of scenarios in which I would even consider jumping through a closed window is a pretty short one. Gets even shorter when you remove clothes from the equation. How short, you ask? About as short as your manhood becomes when you slice it clean off JUMPING THROUGH A CLOSED WINDOW COMPLETELY NAKED. Seriously, gun to my head, jump through a closed window naked or take my chances with maybe getting set on fire, I’m stopping dropping and rolling all day. Burns heal. Complete severance does not.

This guy sure picked a heck of a winter to have to jump naked through a closed window though. Never take a 60 degree day in February for granted because you never know when you’re going to find yourself completely naked in the streets, that’s what I always say.

“Hey. How about this weather? I was out cutting my grass in shorts on Friday.”

“Yeah man…crazy nice out.”

‘Cleveland Awakens’ Combines Star Wars & Cleveland In An Awesome New Video

YouTube DescriptionFriends, Clevelanders, and fellow fans we are proud to present to you our tribute to Star Wars and the Land. This was only possible thanks to the generous time given by many talented people and is the beginning of many great adventures to come. Cheers!


That was… AWESOME. Now I’m not the biggest Star Wars buff on the planet (still haven’t seen the new one) but I know gold when I see it and that right there is gold. Seeing the downtown Cleveland skyline filled with X-Wings and Tie Fighters was dope as hell. Best use of downtown Cleveland in a movie since Captain America: Winter Soldier. I vote that in Ep 2 of Cleveland Awakens we get to see a little character development. I want to see someone as Princess Leia, Kylo Ren, or someone play Jabba The Hutt. Maybe get some idiot off the street to play Jar Jar Binks.

I give it 9.5 out of 10.