CLEVELAND — An alligator is in police custody after a man barricaded himself inside of a Cleveland home Thursday afternoon.
Police were called to the home in the 7900 block of Cornelia Avenue for a domestic situation.
When police arrived, the suspect barricaded himself inside of the home with the alligator. A SWAT team was then called to the home.
Once inside, an officer laid on top of the alligator while others taped its mouth shut. The suspect was arrested.
Imagine how badass that cop felt when he came home.
Scene: A man and his family are sitting around the dining room table eating dinner
WIFE: Hey Earl (the cop’s name is Earl, just go with it), how was work today? Any arrests?
EARL: “it was pretty good. Normal shit. A couple speeding tickets, shoplifting calls, a domestic violence incident… Oh yeah, and I wrestled a 6 foot alligator into submission with my bare hands. Standard stuff.
*Wife throws all the food off of the table, jumps on Earl and starts passionately kissing him*
End Scene
As for the criminal, I gotta say having an alligator as your first line of defense against intruders/police is kind of awesome. It’s definitely up there in my top 5 animals I’d want protecting me in my house along with a lion, polar bear, dire wolf, and wolverine.
No one fucks with alligators. You know why no one fucks with alligators? Because they’re ornery. You know why they’re ornery? Cuz they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.
Thankfully no officers were hurt.
Bottlegate 