Category Archives: ohio

America, ohio

Trump Said Ohioans Should Be Pissed About This Mountain Name Change. I Stand With Donald.

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MtMckinley

Welp. I didn’t know it but I for one AM insulted. I never even knew I cared about a mountain so much but guess what, here we are and I am PISSED. Who cares about those lame boring topics like healthcare, racism, the stock market etc. We’ve got real topics to discuss and it starts now with the motherfucking name of this motherfucking mountain!

Now when it comes to politics I’m admittedly a bit of a simpleton (you probably are too, who are we kidding?). My political opinion is that if you’re on the far right then you’re probably an idiot. If you’re on the far left you’re probably an idiot too. But if there’s one thing that all republicans and democrats can agree on it’s that this mountain’s name belongs to the great state of Ohio. I mean, I see no reason why Alaska even deserves this. Who cares if the mountain is “technically” in “Alaska,” they’re “barely” part of North America.

What good has Alaska provided to our great country anyway?  Other than that smokeshow Sarah Palin, that stand up guy Carlos Boozer, and that award winning film 30 Days Of Night starring Josh Hartnett, I can’t think of a single thing. Have they ever won a CFB National Championship? Have they ever had a back to back Heisman Trophy winner? Are they the birthplace of Wendy’s? Nope to all 3. That distinction goes to the Buckeye State. I mean, leave it to those blockheads to name a mountain after a GMC Sport Utility Vehicle and not after a celebrated US President. SMH, Alaska. SMH. Talk to me when you actually have some daylight, until then, you’ll always be left in the dark.

As for our boy Trump here… Trump is the hottest thing in America right now. There’s no disputing that. If Donald told me to “jump” I’d ask “How high?” If Trump tells me that as an Ohioan I should be insulted about a mountain’s name change, then I’m insulted about a mountain’s name change. That’s just part of the game. If there’s anyone on the planet who you’d take mountain advice from, it’s The Donald. Everybody knows that. He didn’t make his billions from NOT knowing anything about mountains, folks.

Trump, an expert of mountains and apparently, fences:

Let’s Make This Mountain’s Name Great Again.

#DownWithDenali

**

Hey Adam, that’s exactly what he’s saying. Alaska stinks, bro. Get over it.

Football, ohio

VIDEO: Akron High School Recovers A “Buttpunt” And Returns It For A Touchdown

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And the start of Ohio High School football is off to a hot start with the Ol’ Buttpunt. 2015 coming in hot!

Might as well just gift wrap that touchdown too. Guarantee that dude who came up with the ball won’t score an easier touchdown in his life. Week 1 into the high school season and we’ve already got the clear favorite for Top 10 (or Not Top 10) play of the year.

I can’t bring myself to make fun of this punter. Punters are people too and as a former high school punter (coffin corner extraordinaire) I’ve had my share of embarrassing kicks. I too once had a punt blocked… But my favorite play happened when our long snapper (the other writer on this site) snapped the ball clear over my head and instead of trying to pick up the ball and try to get the punt off, I panicked and just straight soccer kicked the ball towards the line of scrimmage. It went like 5 feet off the ground and about 15 yards past the original line of scrimmage. No one knew if it was even legal or not. I specifically remember the refs huddling and the line saying “I’ve never seen that before.” The other team ended up getting the ball where we snapped it from, scored a touchdown the next play, and we lost the game. Sigh. Probably my most 2nd embarrassing football play ever.*

*My most embarrassing play was running the option in 8th grade vs Mentor. I went to pitch the ball to our running back, got leveled, and the option was intercepted and returned for a touchdown.To this day I still get shit for that. Mentor was good.

ohio

According To This Study, Ohioans Love Monkey Porn, Bath Salts, And Baconators

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Via Estately

Every U.S. state has its own unique interests and curiosities, and that’s especially true when it comes to internet searches. To highlight those differences we here at the real estate search site Estately dug through 11 years of Google search data to see which terms users in each state Googled more than any other. Each of these terms was selected because we deemed them particularly embarrassing or shameful.

OHIO:  Subway (fast food chain) / monkey porn / Baconator (Wendy’s food item) / bath salts (as in the drug)

embarrassingestately

So this map was put together by the real estate site Estately. It shows which terms each state Googled more than the other states and WTF Ohio. We apparently love fast food subs and burgers, weird drugs, and weird porn. Sounds like a helluva trifecta to me.

If you eat Subway, you do bath salts, and you watch monkey porn, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.

There are some super interesting searches on here- Michigan with “pyramid schemes,” Mississippi with “penis enlargement,” Utah searching “Bronies,” and New Mexico with… “THE HOT CHICK???” The Hot Chick? I can’t even for one second wrap my head around that one, it’s by far the most head scratching term on the list.

This chart just proves that whatever weird stuff you’re searching on Google (God I hope no one ever sees my search history), there’s someone else searching something just as weird or even weirder. We’ve got some freaks here and that’s what makes us the greatest country in the world.

So, what are everyone’s plans for the weekend? I’ve got some things I want to eat, some things I want to do, and some things I want to watch.