This Week In Cleveland Craigslist Missed Connections

Welcome to the 2nd edition of “This Week In Cleveland Craigslist Missed  Connections.” Good batch this week from the weirdos who think posting in Craigslist about that girl they saw in line at Speedway will somehow get them laid. Let’s get started.

 

1cl11

Who knew the Eastlake Walmart was poppin like this? Lots of cat talk in this post, hopefully this guy gets some.


1cl12

Nothing says romance like Circle K, gyro chips, win, and Reese’s. Maybe these 2 Circle K jerkers can meet up later in that white Jeep and make their own yummy pie.


1cl13

Any 21 year old who willingly wants to hook up with 60 year old chicks needs to have their brain examined. I respect the double meaning of the “I’m good with my hands and enjoy fixing things in need.” Old girls probably love that.


1cl14

After 2 weeks of doing these I’ve noticed that 50% of these missed connections occur at gas stations or convenience stores while waiting in line. Love knows no bounds I guess.


1cl15

Well? Ladies? I bet this dude is a blast to Snap Chat with.


1cl16

Straight and to the point. Shooters keep shooting no matter what. I like the cut of this dude’s jib.


2cl1

  1. I’m pretty sure she’s ignoring you.
  2. Don’t use the C in reference to vaginas. Pretty sure that’s a no no.

 

2cl2

Read the above posting. Pretty weird, right? Now look to the right and see that this guy is 50 years old. And now I’ve never been more creeped out in my life. Wouldn’t be surprised if this guy likes to dance in front of a video camera and has a 15 foot hole in his house. In fairness though, I don’t know how anyone in their right mind would be able to turn down such a good offer.

Dwayne Bowe’s quotes from today sure are something

Bowe said some OUTLANDISH stuff today after Coach Pettine announced he’ll be active Sunday. Here’s the full video via Hayen Grove (@H_Grove – if you aren’t following him for pretty much all CLE sports yet, go do that) on Scout.com. I’ve transcribed some of it below.

(on the rumors of him getting cut)

“They say that? I never even heard of that. I know what goes on in this building. These guys love me, they know I’m a great teammate and a great player. It’s time to make plays and I’ve been doing it my whole career so that’s not going to change.”

(on the expectations of a big free agent contract)

“It’s like that every year with everybody. Unfortunately I’m just that guy that got injured and had to fight my way back to get to the top. I fought my way so many years in Kansas City so, but it doesn’t matter. Once I hit the field running, you guys will love it.”

(on being on the field for only 8 snaps in Week 2)

“I’m just getting acclimated. Play at a play at a time. We have so many play makers it seems like everybody’s getting put on the back burner but we have play makers it just takes time to get it going.”

(on if the quarterback situation makes it difficult to get timing down)

“No. We practice every day so the timing, I have really good timing with all the quarterbacks, actually. It’s just doing it in the game is what everybody is waiting on. Once that happens, the questions will be minimized.”

(on the TMZ report about Johnny Manziel and Josh McCown)

“Heard a little glimpse about it but that was the craziest thing. Nobody …..(indecipherable)….. It’s family business but, when the season goes the way it starts like this, eyebrows raise but we know what we got. We got a tight group, we all for each other.”

bowefunny

“Excuse me, monsieur? (Points to Dwayne Bowe) I’ll have what he’s having.” Jesusssss. Give the guy some credit — he 100% has been hearing about how bad he sucks and what a waste of money he is for the past two months but he came out today guns-a-blazin. These are some Grade A quotes. If you don’t think I’m going to work “play at a play at a time” into every Browns conversation I have from here on out, you’re outside of your mind.

Bold stance to take on our “play makers” too – it’s not often you see a guy defend a clearly deficient group of players by saying they’re actually all so good that no one has a chance to make any plays. Can’t knock the hustle.

Looking forward to questions being minimized on Sunday.

https://twitter.com/NickInMenner/status/650018500455612416

Oh Look, Danny Shelton Has A 12 Foot High Vertical In Madden

Get ’em Danny!

We’re big fans of video game “highlights” over here. Whether it’s the dude losing his shit on a bogus call in the Super Bowl or Kevin Love shooting 75 foot free throws at the wrong basket, I personally can’t get enough of these things. Is it juvenile to laugh at something so dumb? Probably. Will that ever stop me? Not a chance.

He leaps, he hustles, he takes up blocks.

https://twitter.com/DustinFox37/status/648918293546450944

Hopefully we see some of these moves from Shelton this Sunday vs the Chargers. I’d love to see him dropkick Philip Rivers’s dumb look right off of his face. Can’t imagine a Danny Shelton falling on you from 12 feet would feel pretty good.

PS- I’m posting this while I’m in the middle of a flight to San Diego for the weekend. I’m never not getting Internet on a plane ever again. What a time to be alive.

Cleveland