From WEWS

ALLIANCE, Ohio – An Alliance woman learned the hard way that bad Chinese food isn’t a justifiable reason to call 911. 

Alliance police report that they received a call around 4:30 p.m. Monday from 44-year-old Tracey McCloud who said the Chinese food she ordered from a local restaurant was “not to par.”

“I had bought some Chinese food and it’s not to par to me and I asked to get my money back and they acting like they don’t understand me and they took my food and won’t give my money back,” McCloud said to the 911 dispatcher. 

The dispatcher asked her name, and then said, “And this is why you called 911?”

“Um, what am I supposed to do? Jump over the thing and beat them up and get my money back?” McCloud asked.

Oh, your Chinese food was under par? You don’t say! You forfeit your basic human rights when you willingly eat Chinese food. You essentially agree to a “Don’t ask, don’t tell” social contract when you step foot into a Chinese restaurant. No one wants to know what is actually in the food, all we know is that it tastes delicious. No I don’t want to know that my General Tso’s Chicken is actually the chipmunk that was crawling around in the dumpster last week. No I don’t want to know that my Won Ton Soup is just tap water with a bunch of Morton’s salt poured into it. I know my fortune cookie was probably baked in 1992 and I’m OK with that. Ignorance is bliss and that’s what makes the Chinese dining experience so special.

I went to college in Alliance for 4 (and a half) years, and since when did the general population become so hoity toity? This isn’t some fine dining establishment like Applebee’s or Jalisco’s. It’d almost be more of a story if the food was up to par TBH.