Tag Archives: cops

Bold strategy as an Alliance Woman calls 911 because her Chinese food sucks


ALLIANCE, Ohio – An Alliance woman learned the hard way that bad Chinese food isn’t a justifiable reason to call 911. 

Alliance police report that they received a call around 4:30 p.m. Monday from 44-year-old Tracey McCloud who said the Chinese food she ordered from a local restaurant was “not to par.”

“I had bought some Chinese food and it’s not to par to me and I asked to get my money back and they acting like they don’t understand me and they took my food and won’t give my money back,” McCloud said to the 911 dispatcher. 

The dispatcher asked her name, and then said, “And this is why you called 911?”

“Um, what am I supposed to do? Jump over the thing and beat them up and get my money back?” McCloud asked.

Oh, your Chinese food was under par? You don’t say! You forfeit your basic human rights when you willingly eat Chinese food. You essentially agree to a “Don’t ask, don’t tell” social contract when you step foot into a Chinese restaurant. No one wants to know what is actually in the food, all we know is that it tastes delicious. No I don’t want to know that my General Tso’s Chicken is actually the chipmunk that was crawling around in the dumpster last week. No I don’t want to know that my Won Ton Soup is just tap water with a bunch of Morton’s salt poured into it. I know my fortune cookie was probably baked in 1992 and I’m OK with that. Ignorance is bliss and that’s what makes the Chinese dining experience so special.

I went to college in Alliance for 4 (and a half) years, and since when did the general population become so hoity toity? This isn’t some fine dining establishment like Applebee’s or Jalisco’s. It’d almost be more of a story if the food was up to par TBH.

Cleveland man refuses to pay $2.25 train fare because he’s “the f***ing commander”


From Cleveland.com:

“A 39-year-old man flashed a Cleveland police badge and told an RTA train operator he didn’t have to pay the fare because he is “the f—–g commander,” according to a police report.”

“Philip Stryjewski boarded the train at Shaker Square about 6:25 p.m. Oct. 16. When he got on, he immediately flashed a Cleveland police badge.”

“RTA police found Stryjewski on the station’s platform. He admitted to flashing a badge. Officers repeatedly asked him where he worked. Stryjewski said he worked as a commander of security at Cleveland Hopkins International Airport, and as an instructor at a private security agency.”

“An airport spokeswoman confirmed that Stryjewski is not an employee there.”

First of all, props to the train operator for even responding, let alone insisting the guy pony up. If a some dude comes up to me claiming to be the fucking commander, I’m certainly not going to ask him for money. But this is just a classic case of lying to cover up a lie. “I’m the commander.” “No you’re not.” “I’m a cop.” “No you’re not.” “I only have a $50 dollar bill.” “No you don’t.” “I work security at the airport.” NO YOU FUCKING DON’T BRO. It’s a good bid by the guy but I’d say once the badge bit fails, just pay the goddamn fare. There’s no way he couldn’t afford it because there’s no way a lady cop would be banging a homeless guy right? Cause spoiler alert, RTA investigators, that’s one million percent how he got this badge. She didn’t give him, idiots. The fucking commander takes what he wants.

PS “Because I’m the fucking commander” is going to be my only response to any “Why” questions for the next, oh, six months.

Hilarious Cleveland Cop Draws A Dick, Accidentally Gets It On A Ticket, Gets Suspended


From Cleveland.com:

“A dirty doodle left on a traffic ticket landed a Cleveland police officer a 10-day unpaid suspension.

Chief Calvin Williams suspended Officer Vincent Schneider Aug. 28. after the patrolman was found guilty of violating division rules.”

“It is unclear what was depicted in the offending drawing. Northeast Ohio Media Group has requested a copy of the citation.

Police spokesman Sgt. Ali Pillow said Schneider didn’t make the drawing in the citation book, but the pen pressure transferred the lewd sketch onto a blank citation’s carbon copy. Another officer issued a traffic ticket that contained the lewd impression.”


I’m not even mad at you, Chief Williams. Just disappointed. The Browns kicked ass on Sunday, Corey Kluber is going to win the god damn Cy Young award and the best basketball player on the face of the planet is back where he belongs. This is the greatest time to be a Clevelander since I don’t even know when….and you go and do this.

Vincent probably drew up a fake ticket with a dick on it to throw under his buddy’s windshield wiper and freak him out. If you don’t think that’s hilarious then I seriously question your commitment to the people of Cleveland and more importantly the male gene. Drawing dicks is a timeless tradition among the people who don them. You should suspend yourself ten days for dishonoring that.

Changed my mind. I am mad at you. Earlier this year a different Cleveland cop was suspended 25 days for sending a picture of his ACTUAL dick (!) and Facebook stalking a chick he only knew existed because he wrote her a ticket once. So let’s recap: Vinny Schneids accidentally drew a fake dick that I’m gonna go ahead and assume wasn’t a caricature of his own dick that got on a ticket he didn’t even give out (a different cop did, which adds a whole nother level of hilarity to this), boom ten days no pay. Thomas Tewell sends a real life nudie on purpose and harasses a girl over the internet and gets 25. If you guys really think that was an accurate punishment, my boy Vinny should have gotten a promotion. Chief Vincent Schneider. Has a ring to it, no?