In order to make the Cleveland Browns and be eligible for training camp each player must pass a conditioning test specific to their position. Offensive & defensive linemen are a group. Linebackers, tight ends, and fullbacks comprise the second group. Defensive backs, wide receivers, and running backs make up the third group.
I wanted to see what all the fuss was about and see if I could cut it and not completely embarrass myself while attempting to pass the test. I didn’t think it would be too tough. I got in touch with a former Browns player (humblebrag city) and tried to iron out the times and distance the players had to run. No one currently with the Browns confirmed this was the test nor got back to me when I asked but I’m confident this is very similar to what the Browns players had to run last week.
I went into the test as a linebacker. The linebackers have to run two sets of ten 50 yard sprints with each sprint being under 6 seconds. Doesn’t sound TOO bad, right? Nah. It was. It was awful.
Instead of doing the test in just shorts and a t-shirt I decided to go the extra mile and wear shoulder pads, a helmet, eye black, a Browns jersey, and a Deion Sanders bandana to top it off.
It didn’t end there. I’d also be drinking beer in between sprints akin to the “Beer Mile.” In hindsight this was a pretty dumb decision. It’s not exactly easy to run an all out sprint and then be rewarded with 12 ounces of Bud Light.
1 before the first sprint; the second after sprint 5; the third after sprint 10; and the fourth after sprint 15.
Some notes about the video
- For the most part I was able to stick to the 30 second breaks in between sprints. I did take longer breaks for each beer however.
- I had a lot of trouble with the fourth beer. That one took the longest to drink.
- I can assure you that all beers were drank even though it doesn’t show it on tape.
- We haven’t cut our backyard grass in like a month but before the test I took the lawnmower and buzzed a landing strip to sprint on.
- Our yard fucking SUCKS. Holes everwhere. Surprised I didn’t break my ankle.
- My second sprint was the only one that was actually under 6 seconds. By sprints 16 or 17 I was probably around 8 seconds. We stopped keeping time after #11. It got bad.
- The video camera died after the first 10 sprints. The last 10 sprints are filmed on a phone, that’s why it may seem a little different.
In all this was a terrible decision and I don’t recommend it to anyone else.
“Hey Mike, what’d you do today?”
– “Oh nothing. Just made a video of me drinking beer and running sprints for my friends on the Internet.”
2 thoughts on “VIDEO: Mike Runs The Browns Conditioning Test While Drinking Beer… It Doesn’t Go Well”
you run like a fucking fairy you unathletic piece of garbage
He kind of has a point, with the whole flailing arm running motion thing (and it’s not like that only happened when you were out of energy and half dead). Rather fruity