Category Archives: Bottlegate

Bottlegate’s 2015 Airing of Grievances

Welcome everyone! The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with Cleveland, life, Twitter and the sports scene! And now you’re gonna hear about it!

I realize this is basically just a list of things that I hate but I bet whoever is reading this will agree with a lot of the points. Besides, it’s a little cathartic to sit down and think of all the things in the world you cant stand. If you got hate it your heart, let it out!

Snapchat

  • Could make this its own blog. I’m getting real tired of Snap Chat. Everything from 300 second Snap Chat stories (you’re not that important) to food snaps (we know what food looks like) to videos of people looking into the camera and singing in their car… Snap Chat is close to jumping the shark. Also, stop trying to do DJ Khaled themed snaps. Stop tainting a good thing.

Twitter Moments

  • Does anyone actually use this feature?

People who say ‘Merica and are being serious

  • It all started with that Cloyd Rivers account (worst account ever btw)

Could of, should of, would of

  • Could have. Should have. Would have.

Everyone on the planet with the last name of Jenner or Kardashian

  • Go away

The latest season of True Detective

  • I’ve never been more let down by a season of television ever

Blind Manziel defenders

  • I’m cool with defending Manziel with his play on the field because it has gotten infinitely better than last year and he looks competent. But you don’t have to defend EVERYTHING he does (especially off of the field). It’s OK to criticize players when they should be criticized.

Blind Manziel haters

  • Give credit where it’s due. Johnny looks like he can play in the league a little bit. He’s not the loser you guys all thought he’d be.

Shitty Twitter accounts that have lots of followers

  • Too many to name. Don’t get it. Don’t get it at all.

The fact that Gary Barnidge didn’t get a Pro Bowl nod

  • Even if I’d rather have each one of the tight ends that got selected on my team, it’s still BS that Gary didn’t crack the top 4.

Overly crowded bars

  • Standing in the middle of a bar where you can’t move 4 inches in either direction is pretty much the worst thing in the world.

The Fat Jew

  • I still follow him though so who’s the real loser?

College protesters

  • You’re in college and you’re upset about stuff and you’re protesting? Super original.

Not hat tipping/crediting people online

  • Goes along with the “shitty Twitter accounts that have lots of followers”

People who tweet insults at athletes or comment on their Instagram

  • The least self aware people in the world. You look pathetic when you do this.

People who dress up to go to the gym

  • Color coordinated outfits and gelled hair to work out? This is not directed at girls though, keep doing you.

The fact that a guy who was the subject of a Comedy Central Roast has a chance to become president

  • What a time to be alive

Roger Goodell

  • The biggest clown of 2015

Steeler fans who were born in Northeast Ohio and have no ties to the Steelers

  • I get it, you’re a spinless front runner.

People who constantly bitch on Twitter

  • I’m fine with the complaining, just be funny about it. We’re all just as miserable as you are.

Facebook

  • Not for me. Be an adult and get Twitter.

The Shooting at the Odeon in downtown Cleveland last weekend

  • I’ve got friends who live a couple hundred yards from that place. Can we please not shoot people there? Please?

Notre Dame fans

  • ND hasn’t been relevant since that dumb movie about that dork who jumped offsides and wasn’t any good at sports.

The stretch of highway around where 271 and 480 meet

  • I moved recently so thankfully I don’t have to sit in the traffic everyday but whoever designed that stretch of highway deserves a swift kick to the dick. (had this one in last year’s airing too)

People who put their hazards lights on when it’s raining or snowing

  • Grow up.

 

To make a list of everything I hate may take about 2 full days so I decided to cut it down a little bit.

 

Agree? Disagree? Anything else really grind your gears? Tweet them to @Bottlegate

Happy Festivus!

 

Arizona Cardinals Head Coach Bruce Arians Calls Bottlegate “The Greatest Game Ever”

Tell em, Bruce! Tell ’em! I agree 100%. It’s also the best blog ever (almost. not really)

You just know that if Arians wasn’t on the sideline coaching that day he would have been in the stands 15 beers deep throwing bottles on the field along with the rest of those maniacs.

Arians is making his way back to Cleveland this Sunday with the Cardinals and he was having a nice stroll down memory lane with the Browns reporters yesterday.

Some highlights:

Definitely wouldn’t mind BA strolling the sidelines 8 times a year in FirstEnergy Stadium. It’d be a definite upgrade from some of the dopes we’ve had the past few years (though I still do like Pettine). This dude would be loved here. Sigh.

PS- I’d say about 95% of the people on Twitter yesterday tweeted something along the lines of “I always wanted Bruce Arians to be the coach of the Browns!” The Captain Hindsights were out in full force yesterday, it was amazing.

PPS- Cardinals 31 Browns 13

“Drink Like A Brown” Shirts Are Officially For Sale. Get Yours Now!

That face you make when we finally put our “Drink Like A Brown” shirts up

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CLICK HERE TO BUY

All week long people have been tweeting us “Where can we get those “Drink Like A Brown” shirts?  Well I’ve been waiting for the right time to throw them up on the blog and there’s no better time than right now.

Huge division win vs. the hated Ravens. Huge huge win. What’s even better is that Peyton Manning comes to town next weekend and we have a chance to get to .500… What better shirt to wear while boozing your face off in the Muni Lot next Sunday than this baby?

CLICK HERE TO BUY

I’ll sweeten the deal a little more- If you screenshot your receipt and tweet or Direct Message it to @Bottlegate, I’ll personally send you 2 of these koozies for absolutely free. You MUST tweet us the screenshot to get them.

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Best deal ever or best deal ever?