First off, the poop emoji; HILARIOUS. It works in every situation and makes every text or tweet about 1000x times funnier than it would have been originally. It’s the most versatile emoji in the game. If your tweet doesn’t have the sizzle you’re looking for, add the poop emoji and boom you’re looking at at least 5 extra retweets and favorites.

Hey dude who wanted to hug Johnny, maybe next time you shouldn’t act like a:

When you’re (shitfaced):

And instead you should just:

Second point: I bet when Chris Gonos decided to try and hug Johnny Manziel Friday night he wasn’t thinking in the back of his mind that in a few days a former star of a hit MTV show would be calling him a “fucker” and a “bitch” on Twitter. When it rains it pours I guess.

Third point: Johnny, HIRE THIS MAN.

PS- If you missed Chris’s comment on a Cleveland.com article in June, here ya go

Seems like he’s “only guilty of being a fan”