Cleveland.com– MAPLE HEIGHTS, Ohio — Three Maple Heights parents left five children unattended at a home on the 14000 block of Corrindon Avenue to tailgate at the Sept. 21 Browns game, police reports say.The children were between the ages of seven and 10.

A Maple Heights police officer went to the house around 2:45 p.m. after one of the children dialed 911 and hung up. The child told police he called because the group was having an argument.

The 9-year-old child told the officer that he and the other children had been at the house alone for several hours because their parents, 28-year-old Rashad Williams Sr., 28-year-old Shauntia Williams and 29-year-old Valerie Norris went to the Browns game to tailgate.

Coolest parents ever or coolest parents EVER? Are you kidding me, being alone for several hours with your buddies is probably the highlight of these kids’ young lives. I can’t even imagine the shenanigans I would’ve gotten into if I was left alone all day when I was 9. If this was me I’d spend my day doing a couple of things:

1. Search the house far and wide for any candy and smash it all. If there’s no candy I’d turn my sights to whatever pop was in the house.

2. See what kind of Rated R movies I could watch on HBO or Showtime (hopefully there’s nudity because seeing nudity when you’re 9 is like the coolest thing ever).

3. Build the most elaborate fort in the world. If you didn’t build forts when you were little you probably didn’t have many friends and/or grew up to like Lorde.

4. Order a pizza. While the pizza boy was outside my door I’d turn up the volume on the TV and have a mob movie playing in the background. When the pizza boy gave me ‘tude I’d have the movie perfectly sync up to seem like there were gunshots being fired. Ha! What a million dollar idea, don’t know how no one has ever thought of this.

And finally…

5. Empty my piggy bank onto my bedroom floor and swim around all of my change like I’m Scrooge McDuck. Anyone who says they didn’t dream of doing this while growing up is a flat out liar and someone you can’t trust.

This video clips perfectly illustrates how I pictured the conversation between each parent to go

“Uh the 10 year old is watching the 9 year old who’s watching the 8 year old who’s watching the 7 year old.”