Tag Archives: craigslist

This Week In Cleveland Craigslist Missed Connections

November 9, 2015 Mike Leave a comment

It’s been awhile but Cleveland Craigslist Missed Connections is back. I wanted to try and make this a weekly scheduled post but unfortunately the postings over there haven’t been consistent enough to do that. This batch doesn’t disappoint though.

Here we go

Yes. The woman who came into Carrabas with her husband will be writing back to the unknown man who watched her eat spaghetti at a restaurant from a distance.

I mean what woman wouldn’t respond to such an offer? Sounds like a blast. Vroom! Vroom!

Nothing, and I mean nothing, gets the juices flowing more than listening to a metal version of Rebecca Black’s “Friday”

“Crazy sexy relations” for the win! Almost puked at the “sweatily bad” line.

I have a lot of things running through my head about what he means by “crushed” and all of them are pretty gross.
No 49 year old man should ever have someone saved in their phone as “Ass Girl.”

Pretty tactful and understated post from my man right here… I really questioned the direction of this blog when I was editing this picture in Microsoft Paint. Lots of veins.

Pretty normal post here until you get to the part where he was “forced to leave” Marcs. Who gets forced to leave Marcs? Pretty sure anything goes in between the aisles there. I need to know what happened on that “one bad day.”

Swingers in the Dawg Pound?! Swingers in the Dawg Pound.

*throws up*

Alright. What the fuck. If you’re going to be weird on Craigslist you should probably turn your location off. Funny thing is, I’m from Willoughby (Hills) and know the area where this took place so there’s a slight chance I know this guy. I question his tactics.

I don’t know. I would have to venture to think that a woman walking into the wrong bathroom at a Steak N Shake isn’t exactly looking to hook up in the bathroom stall, ya know? Steak N Shake doesn’t exactly feel like the type of place where people would be down with that. But who knows, maybe she saw this guy taking a leak and wanted to get nuts. Who am I to judge?

Browns

Browns Fan Will PAY YOU To Go To The Monday Night Football Game Against Baltimore

November 5, 2015 Mike Leave a comment

Via Craigslist

I am a very depressed season ticket holder. In the past I have often sold games or given away tickets to games I could not attend, nowadays I can’t give tickets away.

In this 16th year of being a season ticket holder I see that being a die hard fan has become very difficult, very few friends post on facebook post regarding the game, (during the game), or later tell me that they turn the game off early to do… yard work, etc.

After today’s game, the penalty that gave the Cardinals a first down instead of forcing them to punt with about 11 minutes in the game, the exodus from the stadium was heart wrenching. Beforehand the crowd was least attentive and on a few occasions that normally the fans scream and pound in anticipation of stopping the opponent or creating a game changing moment the stadium was silent, as if empty.

SO I offer to pay someone to attend the Ravens game – 2 seats 13 rows from the field. All I ask is a reason not to give up believing. Along with a promise that no matter how ugly the game goes you will stay to the last second ticks off the clock. Maybe we can be facebook friends and you can post pictures and updates.

Email me, make me a believer and I will send you the tickets and a dollar.

The correct date of the game is Monday night, November 30th

Things have gotten so bad lately for us Browns fans that this dude is actually willing to pay you to go to the upcoming Browns-Ravens Monday Night Football game later this month.

Now when I first saw this story I thought for sure it was going to be one of those attention seeking publicity stunts that people pull in hopes of news stations or blogs picking up their story. Like a “Fire Jimmy Haslam Petition” or something along those lines… But then I read the Craigslist post and it’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. He’s not trying to “stick it to the Browns” and stir up some negative publicity by posting this. He genuinely just wants someone to go to a Browns game, sit alongside the fellow diehards, and stick around to the final whistle. He’s begging someone to believe in a franchise that hasn’t had a winning season since 2007.

That’s it. That’s all he wants. For someone to attend his team’s nationally televised Monday Night Football game and try to enjoy themselves. And he’s paying for them to do it. Just a guy beaten down by losing season after losing season.

This is what Cleveland Browns football has become and it’s sad. This story will probably cycle around the national publications and everyone will be like “Ha, LOL Browns” but it’s not even funny anymore. This franchise is turning away its most loyal fans by the decisions it continues to make. This is also why we drink. A lot.

PS- This is also one of the reasons I always tell my friends NOT to buy Browns season tickets. By the time November and December roll around you can get decent tickets on StubHub for like $10-$20 on gameday.

PPS- If Johnny somehow shocks the world and pulls off a win tonight and next game vs. the Steelers, this dude better pull this Craigslist offer off of the table. FirstEnergy Stadium would be ELECTRIC for a Monday Night football game with Manziel starting and the Browns riding a winning streak.

Craigslist Connections

This Week In Cleveland Craigslist Missed Connections

October 20, 2015 Mike Leave a comment

After a 12 day hiatus we’re back with a vengeance this week with our Cleveland Craiglist Missed Connections weekly feature. Searching the depths of Craigslist to bring you the finest missed connections postings from the finest Northeast Ohioans on the Internet. Some posts are looking for love, some are looking to hook up, none of them will work.

Let’s go

Continuing our theme of “gas station or convenience store postings.” I’ll tell ya, these NE Ohio gas stations must be a breeding place for love or something because after sifting through these posts I’d say about 40% of these occur in line at a gas station.

BRO. You’re posting about something from several YEARS ago?? Do you know how unlikely it is for someone to search Craigslist and make a connection with someone they saw an hour ago? But you think the random girl at Barley House (I think) will somehow remember that she smiled at you in 2012?!? This one has to be fake. I cannot believe someone as stupid as this exists.

Haha. Dork. Take your poetry somewhere else you weirdo.

Could this guy be any more clueless? Here, let this Family Guy clip break it down for you:

I don’t know what you guys were talking about in regards to Playboy but I’d sure like to get your thoughts on their decision to stop showing nudity.

“Would definitely kiss you.” Uh, thanks?

“Hey you’re a fucking awful at playing the instrument that you probably spend hours upon hours practicing and devoting your life to… wanna go on a date?”

MORE GAS STATIONS. Love this dude just casually slipping in “import sports car.” Hey, if I had an import sports car and didn’t drive a POS with no air conditioning and a radio that doesn’t get FM channels, I’d reference “my import sports car” so much it’d make your head spin.

“Just the right amount of junk in the trunk.” Sure dude, let’s traumatize your kids once they find their dad hooking up with their teammate’s mom in the soccer field bathrooms.