AAAH, I’M CLIMBING A WALL, TAKE A GOOD PICTURE, HONEY, I’M DEAD
Quick backstory: After the Browns lost to the Raiders earlier this season, this rascal here decided to climb this wall at The Pit (the other tailgating spot for Browns games). Why he decided to climb this wall is a question that will never be answered.
I’ve been waiting FOREVER for the full video to come out because all of the other ones out there ended right before he fell. Seeing the original video without the fall was like watching the movie Seven and not finding out what’s in the box; like a 3 course meal ending after the entree; like sex with no orgasm. It just felt incomplete. As an audience we needed to see that fall. We needed to see our boy drunkenly climb those rocks and gracefully do an accidental swan dive onto pavement. Man, that was awesome. He survived. Luckily, the concrete broke his fall.
Tell em, Bruce! Tell ’em! I agree 100%. It’s also the best blog ever (almost. not really)
You just know that if Arians wasn’t on the sideline coaching that day he would have been in the stands 15 beers deep throwing bottles on the field along with the rest of those maniacs.
Arians is making his way back to Cleveland this Sunday with the Cardinals and he was having a nice stroll down memory lane with the Browns reporters yesterday.
Some highlights:
"I'm shocked because its one of the greatest fan bases in the world…it's a shame" – #Cardinals coach Bruce Arians on #Browns losing
Definitely wouldn’t mind BA strolling the sidelines 8 times a year in FirstEnergy Stadium. It’d be a definite upgrade from some of the dopes we’ve had the past few years (though I still do like Pettine). This dude would be loved here. Sigh.
PS- I’d say about 95% of the people on Twitter yesterday tweeted something along the lines of “I always wanted Bruce Arians to be the coach of the Browns!” The Captain Hindsights were out in full force yesterday, it was amazing.
(By the time you’re reading this it’ll probably be game 2 since everyone will be watching the Cavs opener tonight but we’re nothing if not punctual here at Bottlegate)
For the 64th time in the past 68 years, the Cleveland Indians will not be playing in the World Series. But I love baseball, and I’ll be DAMNED if I let that stop me from enjoying the Fall Classic. As always, bring us in Johnny!
Ladies and gentlemen, your second annual Bottlegate World Series Drinking Game! The New York Mets and the Kansas City Royals square off in game 1 tonight at 8:07 at Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri. I usually play a different drinking game when I’m watching a game that Harold Reynolds is announcing (it’s called “drink”), but this is certainly a special occasion. So without further adieu…
Take a sip when…
Alex Rodriguez talks about being old
Someone mentions an “unwritten rule”
The hair of Jacob deGrom or Noah Syndergaard is shown/talked about
Healthy gulp if it’s both at the same time
Yoenis Cespedes or Johnny Cueto is referred to as a “rental”
Reynolds says something you can easily disprove using basic reasoning and logic
Anyone mentions how close the Cubs came/that they’ll be back next year/for years to come
A Royals batter gets a hit on a fastball
A Royals batter strikes out
Jerry Seinfeld shown
Healthy gulp if…
Matt Harvey and “innings limit” are mentioned in the same sentence
Any announcer implies or flat out says that David Wright deserves a World Series title
Thor’s hammer is shown in any way
A Statcast graphic is used
Announcers debate whether or not a player flipped his bat after a HR
Finish your drink if the Jose Bautista bat flip is shown
Yordano Ventura hits a batter
The broadcast shows weird iPad guy
Jerry Seinfeld interviewed
Jim Breuer video is mentioned/shown
Stories you must drink from start to finish during:
Wilmer Flores crying at the trade deadline
Royals fan SungWoo Lee from South Korea
Steven Matz growing up a Mets fan
The trials and tribulations of David Wright
Finish your drink
David Murphy hits a home run
(Repeat from last year) Alex Gordon concusses himself
Mets pitcher knocks a run in
20-year-old Royals rookie shortstop Raul Mondesi makes his major league debut in the World Series
Harold Reynolds makes a joke about “Matz” sounding like “Mets”
and finally….
Bartolo Colon gets on base
Bottoms up.
Shoot any additional ideas over to @Bottlegate or bottlegatecle@gmail.com and we’ll add em’.
Bottlegate 