YouTube– Only at Walmart on main st, people fighting and hit getting tased
Nice little brouhaha in a Columbus Walmart parking lot to get your Friday started. There’s just something about seeing someone drop like a sack of bricks after getting hit with a taser, ya know? If you can’t get a good laugh after seeing someone get tased and tensing up as stiff as a board then I don’t want to know you as a person. What makes this video even better is the nice serene rainbow in the background. I almost missed the fight because I was focusing too hard on the rainbow.
How do we know this is in Columbus, you ask? Well, the YouTube uploader is named Tiarra Brundidge. Her Facebook says she currently lives in Columbus. Columbus is also home to a Wal Mart in Whitehall that is located on a “Main Street.” Boom. Journalism 101 by your boys over on Bottlegate dot com.
This gif has been floating around Twitter. Good lord.
I mean…….bruh. It’s 2015. Every single time you post on social media, you piss off someone somewhere. If you post a picture of the burger you had for dinner, the rival cattle farm to that restaurant’s supplier will be in your ear 15 minutes later. You also somehow have a job at a major news outlet along with a little over twelve thousand followers on Twitter, so you’re under the microscope even more. The level of ineptitude required to publicize such a glaringly offensive opinion is simply stunning.
So there’s that, and then there’s the fact that the stance you hold and decided to share with the world not only classifies you as an extreme sexist but quite possibly a terrorist as well. Look, as a soccer guy I know VERY well that the sport isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. That’s completely fine. I don’t really like golf. And I also understand the fact that not all sports fans will enjoy watching men and women play the same sport equally. I was all over March Madness and the NBA Finals, but I can’t say I’ve watched a single minute of women’s college hoops or the WNBA. While they play many of the same games with many of the same rules, they’re certainly different beasts, there’s no denying that. But so are movies that area based off books. As a fan of male sports, you claiming that absolutely zero women’s sports are worth watching would be like an author claiming that books are ALWAYS better than movies based off them, every time, 100% of the time, no exceptions. That’s clearly not true in Hollywood and that’s clearly not true here in the real world that we (well most of us at least) live in. There might not be a perfect quantifiable way of comparing one to the other, but I’d sure like to see you read that tweet to Serena Williams.
ALL OF THAT ASIDE, Andrew, this is America we’re talking about. The United StatesWomen’s National Soccer Team is competing against other real-life countries to hoist the most important trophy in their sport. If you can’t put your distaste for the sport and apparently the gender aside to root for the red, white and blue, you deserve nothing less than a stern talking to. By a federal judge.
…the really impressive climbs took place once the game ended. In both the winning Bay Area and the losing city of Cleveland, traffic shot way up. The State of Ohio was easing their pain with traffic rates at 25% above average in the hours following the game, while folks in the victorious metropolitan area were celebrating on Pornhub, as noted with the 20% increase in traffic observed a few hours after the game ended.
Silver linings, people. Sure the Cavs lost in the Finals and sure Cleveland hasn’t won a championship in 51 years… but for those 2 hours after the loss there were tons of Clevelanders feeling better about themselves and having sex (with themselves). That’s pretty cool. So after we saw our team get fucked on TV, we opened up our laptops to watch someone… get fucked. Common coping mechanism.
I always love when Pornhub puts these charts out after a big game a la the Super Bowl, or the most recent diagram detailing when Ohio State crushed the soul of every Alabaman with their Sugar Bowl victory. It shows that no matter where you are in the world, the most common way to ease your pain after a big loss isn’t with food, alcohol or drugs, it’s with porn.
I emailed the fine people at Pornhub (what a time to be alive) to see if they have any information like this for us to use. A kind gentleman by the name of Matt promptly responded and sent me this chart (as did a few of out esteemed Twitter followers). It’s not the same % change that Alabama had after the Sugar Bowl loss, but it’s still damn impressive.
Favorite part was at 11 pm Cleveland was around -25% below normal and at 1 am we were +15%. That’s a crazzzy 40% jump. We were definitely All In.
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