Tag Archives: Johnny Manziel

Browns

Johnny Manziel’s Swan Song featuring Sashi Brown

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“Cool your shit, people. We’re gonna cut him as soon as we can.”

And that’ll do it.

Is this the most passive aggressive/refreshing/biggest relief in the history of Cleveland sports press releases? I feel like I just saw an ex girlfriend at a bar and the kid she was with was wearing skinny jeans with holes in them and a beanie and when he took the beanie off his long hair was matted down and gross. I don’t know why I feel this way but I do. We all knew how this was going to end but it’s just a relief to know they’re not gonna Browns this one up.

Makes you wonder if the team knows something about his latest mess that the public doesn’t yet. Seems kind of oddly timed to me. Or possibly they just realized it’s absolutely absurd to have a police force looking for their quarterback with a helicopter and decided to finally cut their losses. Who cares. It’s finally over.

To put it into a metaphor Johnny would understand: the lights are turned on, it’s last call at the bar and the 10 that just turned into a 3 is the flicker of a hope for his NFL career.

Get excited for Mike’s farewell video for #2. Get real excited.

Browns

Johnny Manziel Involved In Another Altercation With His Girlfriend. This Time In Texas

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Atta boy, Johnny! Second domestic dispute since October. I think we’re beginning to see a pattern here with Mr. Football.

Do you know how easy it is to not get the cops called on you and your girlfriend? Johnny’s managed to do it twice in the past few months.

Jimmy Haslam said TWO DAYS AGO that he thinks the relationship between the Browns and Manziel is fixable and this is how Johnny responds. You have to try and be this dumb and be in the news cycle this much, it’s incredible.

February 8th is when the Browns can officially cut Manziel. Expect a farewell video by then too.

UPDATE: According to Profootballtalk.com, police used a helicopter to search for Manziel after his altercation.

Via Mark David Smith of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, Fort Worth police have issued a statement indicating that a helicopter was used to search for Manziel following whatever it was that happened between him and a female on Saturday morning.

The report indicates that a “possible assault” occurred, but that the potential victim (who referred to Manziel as her ex-boyfriend) was not cooperative. The helicopter search apparently resulted from Manziel’s ex-girlfriend’s concerns for his well-being and an inability to locate him through “cell phone numbers associated with him.”

 

A helicopter to look for an NFL quarterback after an altercation with a woman? What is happening here.

Browns

There’s A “Many Disguises Of Johnny Manziel” Sign In Cleveland… And He’s Drawn As A Penis.

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Welp. If we don’t laugh, we’ll cry. Here’s a guy that was one of the most electrifying college football players who was drafted to turn around one of the most storied franchises in the NFL. Who made the Cleveland Browns the lead story on Sportscenter every night and had the highest selling jersey in the NFL.

The guy who almost brought grown ass men to tears the moment he was drafted:

Is now the butt of jokes and is being drawn as a werewolf and as a giant dickhead.  Cold world. Quite the fall from grace I’d say.

penismanziel

If you don’t laugh at the thought of a person sitting at their kitchen table drawing a giant penis to resemble Johnny Manziel for a yard sign then I don’t want to know you as a person. That’s funny.