Tag Archives: warriors

I Think I’ve Temporarily Lost My Edge As A Cleveland Sports Fan

Yesterday when the news broke that KD signed with the Warriors I didn’t even blink. No anger, no resentment, no worrying. Just nothing… and I’m afraid this Cavs championship has officially gone to my head. It’s caused me to not worry about things that don’t matter in the long run. Durant signing with the Warriors didn’t make me mad at all and I hate that it didn’t. Is this what it’s like to be a fan of a team that wins things? Do other fans in other cities wake up with a smile on their face? This happiness thing is fucking weird, I tell ya.

I’ve temporarily lost my edge as a Cleveland sports fan. Things in the sports world that should make my blood boil and  make me send out angry tweets just don’t seem to bother me anymore. Every time I see something from that dorky ass Warriorsworld Twitter account or one of the Warriors idiot beatwriters, I barely even raise an eyebrow. What the fuck, man.  It’s been nice being carefree but it’s also a huge concern with the Browns season right around the corner. I need to hate and I need to hate again soon. What happens when RG3 throws a terrible interception? Or when Cameron Erving gets pancaked by a nose tackle? Hopefully I get my juice back in time or football season might be a bit of a bore.

I’m like Peter in Office Space after he gets hypnotized by that fat guy who has a heart attack. Just carefree and somewhat oblivious to everything that’s going around me. That’s how I’ve been living my life since June 20th.

So while the Warriors are putting their free agency championship trophy in the cabinet next to their 73 regular season wins championship trophy, I’ll just be spending the rest of my summer as a fan of the world champions. When ESPN’s preseason power rankings come out and everyone is sucking Golden State’s dick, I’ll be rewatching game 7.

 

I just can’t be worried about this

When just 2 weeks ago we were doing this

 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Let’s play the overreaction game!

In case you haven’t heard, the Cavs lost to the Warriors last night. It was an overall embarrassing effort from the home team, and it made a few things quite clear:

  1. David Blatt needs to be fired
  2. We shouldn’t have traded Andrew Wiggins for Kevin Love
  3. We should cut Kevin Love
  4. Let’s egg Kevin Love’s house
  5. LeBron is no longer The King
  6. LeBron’s short term as The Prince has ended
  7. How much longer can LeBron hold on to his title as The Peasant?
  8. Go Browns

So, in light of the most devastating loss in the history of professional sports, I thought I would take a look back at some of the other times we, as a human race, have had informed, rational thoughts about a team or individual.

2015 Mike Trout

trout

Mike Trout had a “down” year in 2014. He posted career lows in batting average and WAR, on top of career highs in strikeouts, K% and UZR. So basically, he couldn’t hit anymore and he could no longer play defense. Fast forward to September of 2015. He’s batting below .300. Bryce Harper is posting MVP numbers and is nipping at Trout’s heels as the best young outfielder in the game. The seventh of the month rolls around. Angels vs Dodgers. The Battle for Los Angeles. Cy Young-hopeful Zack Greinke takes the bump for the boys in blue. Mike Trout went to the plate five times that night. He recorded zero hits and struck out three times. Harper had gone 7-14 with 3 bombs the previous 3 games. Trout was destined to limp off into the annals of history.

He would go on to finish 2nd in the American League MVP voting and lead the league in WAR.

2013-current New England Patriots

The loss to Denver in 2013 AFC Championship game had the Patriots on their heels. After falling to Belichick & Co. in Week 12 that year, Peyton Manning was able to end Brady’s Superbowl aspirations for the second time in their careers while simultaneously ending one of the greatest runs by a football franchise in recent memory. The hangover carried over into 2014. The Patriots started the season 2-2 and were absolutely mollywhopped Week 4 in Kansas City  on Monday Night Football. Tom Brady was mercifully benched at the end of that game, leaving some to wonder if it was finally Jimmy Garoppolo time in New England. “On to Cincinnati,” Bill Belichick famously muttered over and over in his post game press conference. On to Cincinnati indeed. And then on to winning 23 of their next 25 games, including Super Bowl XLIX. They started 2015 with ten wins in a row, despite a certain pigskin controversy that left their starting quarterback (still Brady) suspended then unsuspended. A stumble to the finish line raised more question marks however, after losing four of their last six and dealing with injuries to their starting running back and two of their top wide receivers.

The Patriots beat the Kansas City Chiefs 27-20 last weekend and will square off once again with Peyton Manning’s Broncos in the AFC Championship.

Apple

apple

I don’t really remember the movie but I’m pretty sure the company stunk so they fired Steve Jobs, the company continued to stink but Steve Jobs didn’t, the company brought back Steve Jobs and now the company doesn’t stink.

The once stinky company is now one of the most valuable companies on the planet.

Matthew McConaughey

mccc

His last name may have been hard to spell, but his on-screen appeal was easy to see. Matty Mc began his career with a cult classic in Dazed and Confused, as well as action/drama bangers such as Contact, U-571 & A Time to Kill. Shortly after that, however, McConaughey’s career took a turn for the worse. He began winning/being nominated for awards such as “Sexiest Love Scene” and “Move Liplock” around the time of The Wedding Planner in 2002. By the time Ghost of Girlfriends Past was released in 2009, he was all but six feet under in the romcom graveyard. After a hiatus from awards and watchable movies, a (probably shirtless) epiphany helped Matt rise from the ashes like the Phoenix around 2012. Since then, he has appeared in testosterone-riddled masterpieces such as Mud, Dallas Buyers Club, The Wolf of Wall Street, Interstellar and of course True Detective.

The McConaissance is real.


See? There were some rough spots, but Mike Trout is still one of the best players in baseball, the Patriots are still a dynasty, Apple is still running the world, I still wouldn’t kick McConaughey out of bed for eating crackers…and the Cavs are still one of the best teams in the National Basketball Association.

VIDEO: Woman At The Cavs Game Has Amazing Robot Moves

Do not tell this woman that the Cavs just got embarrassed on national TV and lost to the Warriors 132-98. She’s gonna dance her ass off and do the robot no matter what the score is and that’s something you just have to respect…  Which is what I’m going to do. Every hot take on Twitter and sports radio I see and hear this week I’m just going to start doing The Robot as a response. Trade Kevin Love? Robot. Fire David Blatt? Robot. LeBron will never win a title in Cleveland? Robot.

Just gonna Robot myself to death this week and that’s something I’m prepared to do.