Quick backstory- The Daily Mail tweeted this headline out earlier today:

And if there was ever an award for “fishing for a story” the Daily Mail would win hands down. The very definition of clickbait. But that’s neither here nor there. No one cares about that shitty headline. The real question here is if regular people like you and I actually do tip at Chipotle. I’ve probably been to Chipotle hundreds of times in my life (double chicken or double chicken/barbacoa is what real men order) and not once has the thought of tipping even crossed my mind. When I step up to the register I’m more focused on the slim possibility of not getting charged for my double meat burrito instead of worrying about leaving a tip for the nice woman who doled out enough sour cream on my food that would stop a normal man’s heart. Leaving a buck or two in the tip jar is the absolutely last thing on my mind. (Do they even have a tip jar?)

I don’t know, am I the dickhead here for not even thinking tipping at Chipotle was an option? Would people tip at Wendy’s or McDonald’s? That’s what I compare it to. Chipotle is a spot or two higher up on the totem pole compared to the chain burger joints.

Now this isn’t to say I don’t appreciate what the fine men and women employed by Chipotle do. I love each and every one of them. Aside from the president and lawmakers in this country, I’d say the Chipotle workers behind the glass are the most important people in the fabric of our society. They provide joy for millions upon millions people daily and are one of the main reasons why America is the greatest country in the world. Our country wouldn’t be where it is today without burritos, bowls, barbacoa, chips, and guac.

Let’s vote.