All posts by Mike

Asshole Ravens fan goes into the Dawg Pound and taunts Browns fans

Horrible look for the city of Cleveland and Browns fans right here. It’s one thing to coexist with opposing team’s fans and have some good natured back and forth jabs with each other… but it’s a totally different thing when an opposing fan comes into your stadium, taunts the home crowd, taunts the DAWG POUND, basically pisses right in your eyeball… and not one single fan does anything about it.

Are Browns fans becoming soft? Think this shit would fly in Oakland’s black hole? Think Philly fans would have just laughed it off? You know what I blame for the lack of retaliation here? Social Media. Everyone was probably ‘Gramming, Facebooking, or Vining this asshole the entire game. “Look at this Ravens fan, what a douche!” Say someone were to lay one finger on him. The next thing you know that someone is a YouTube sensation and dubbed the “most villainous man in America.” Gloria Allred is holding emergency press conferences for the victim in this “heinous crime.” Next thing you know the judge is throwing the book at the suspect and he’s getting ten years for attempted murder. All because some opposing fan thought they’d be cute and try to taunt the Dawg Pound.

I long for the days when someone could take a swing on an opposing fan and not everyone is standing around holding their iPhones while giggling and shouting “Worldstar!” If this were the 1980’s version of the Dawg Pound I’d bet my life some drunk Northeast Ohioan would’ve pulled a Leonidas and shouted “This is Cleveland” while kicking the opposing fan down the aisle. People would cheer. Fans would applaud. Girls would be smitten. Men would be filled with envy. That act of valor instantly becomes stuff of Cleveland lore. That’s the world I want to live in.

This guy stole the show

**BTW Bottlegate does not condone stadium violence so don’t sue us plz.

Quick Recap of LeBron’s interview with CNN

Lebron sat down with Rachel Nichols and gave one of his first on air interviews since he announced his decision to come back to Cleveland. The full version airs tomorrow on CNN. A couple things from this excerpt:

-LeBron has matured SO MUCH from when he went to Miami in 2010. He found out how hard it is to win and this time isn’t promising championships. I love that move even though he’s playing with a better overall team than he had in Miami. Underpromise and overdeliver. Thats a little Sales 101 for you here at Bottlegate.

– His hairline looks FANTASTIC. I’ll have whatever you’re having, dude.

– LeBron basically says that he would’ve stayed in Miami had the Heat beaten the Spurs in the NBA Finals and won back-to-back-to-back championships.

-Think about this for a second. What happens if the air conditioning in San Antonio doesn’t go out during game 1 of the finals?  Imagine if Lebron never cramps up and it’s a whole different ballgame. Imagine if Miami wins that game and then goes on to win the whole series…. Just think about that. The whole NBA landscape is drastically different because of a faulty AT&T Arena air conditioning system. If that air conditioner just works like its supposed to Lebron never comes home; Kevin Love isn’t traded to the Cavs; the Heat probably sign another big name free agent; and Cleveland is stuck watching Anthony Bennett miss wide open layups. Holy shit.

-No carbs, no sugar, no dairy, no refined sugar…. this is literally my worst nightmare ever. I can’t even.

-I never pegged LeBron as a pancake guy. Such an overrated, boring food.

– “Are you quicker on the court now?”

   “I am. I am. And that’s not such a good thing for the competition.”

– OH. FUCK. YES. Can’t wait till October 30th.

– Check out Bottlegate tomorrow for coverage of the Cavs media day

Brian Hoyer: Browns starting quarterback, Mr. Hero spokesman… Cafeteria lady?

From Cleveland Scene-

From the venerable institution’s Facebook page. Also, ESPN the Mag was there too. (ESPN’s doing a full issue on Cleveland very soon, if you hadn’t heard.)

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While other players are busy relaxing and recovering from Sunday’s game, Brian Hoyer has turned into a bonafide lunch lady. What a way to spend your off day just slingin mashed potatoes and gravy till your arm falls off. Hey Brian, you better be scooping that mac and cheese with your left arm. We’re gonna need that right arm in a couple weeks vs. the Titans.

I never envied the school lunch ladies. Having to deal with all those germ infested asshole teenagers who don’t respect you. I definitely couldn’t hack it at a school cafeteria…The lunch ladies are by far the unsung heroes of the whole school experience though. If you can befriend one of them, you’ll be getting extra portions and be set for the rest of your school career. Two Bosco sticks turn into three and one handful of french fries turns into two. Here’s to hoping Brian was exactly like the lunch lady in Billy Madison-

“Brian, you’re scaring us!”

Such a power move wearing your Browns uniform while you serve sloppy joe’s to the customers. That’ll get you some respect.