Tag Archives: akron

Cardale Jones tweets that he’s transferring to Akron… Just kidding. May Fools!

May 1, 2015 Mike Leave a comment

Around 2 pm on Friday Cardale Jones dropped these bombs on Twitter. He changed his Twitter avi and header to the Akron Zips logo. WTF. Is Cardale leaving for The Ohio Polytech Institute?

Just kidding, guys. It’s May Fools, duh. You really think a quarterback that just won a national championship is really transferring to the MAC? Come. On.

MAY FOOLS 😂

— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) May 1, 2015

Well someone had to add a spark to your timeline 😂

— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) May 1, 2015

No Nation Like #BuckeyeNation

— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) May 1, 2015

I don't tweet to entertain or humor you, if you didn't find my joke funny, SUCKS TO BE YOUUUUU 😂May Fools

— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) May 1, 2015

Make a lil joke that gets you on the edge of your seat and I need to grow up😰 can't take no Jokey Joke?

— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) May 1, 2015

People kill me, that was a joke about MY life and MY career, NOT YOURS! in the words of the great Aaron Rogers…… RELAX!!

— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) May 1, 2015

Acting like you read something about me beating women, getting arrested, failing a drug test, fighting, etc. harmless freaking joke

— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) May 1, 2015

Cardale you dog! Had ~~none~~ all of us fooled!

12 Gauge and the Ohio Polytech Instituters just doesn’t have the same ring to it

Click to buy

ohio, WTF

This guy got abducted by aliens in Akron and all he wants is a damn taco

March 13, 2015 Mike Leave a comment

What the hell is going on in Akron these days? We’ve already had the Car Crapper, and now we’ve got this guy on the side of the road who just wants a god damn taco… after he was dropped off by aliens no less. Just a taco. A simple man. Nothing more, nothing less. Doesn’t want money… Doesn’t want booze… Just wants a $1.19 soft taco from Taco Bell. Maybe some Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes or an enchilada. Maybe get a little crazy and get a Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Taco.

So people of Akron I ask you this. If you see Randy Quaid from Independence Day Jr. here I ask that you please drive to the nearest Taco Bell, Chipotle, or Qdoba and buy this man some Mexican food. He deserves it. Just make sure there aren’t any extraterrestrials around.

Maybe not as good as the guy who used to occupy West 6th, but still pretty solid

Thanks to Cal for the pic

General

There’s a psychopath running around Akron who’s pooped on 19 cars for fun

March 11, 2015 Mike Leave a comment

Akron Police are looking for the man who they say has been pooping on cars for the past two years; latest complaint was this morning.

— 19 Action News WOIO (@19ActionNews) March 11, 2015

Akron Police looking for a guy who's pooped on at least 19 cars. Cannot make this up. The photo cannot be unseen.

— Homa Bash (@HomaBash) March 11, 2015

Alright, here's the edited #poopgangsta photo. 19 cars and counting! Someone's got a vendetta.. pic.twitter.com/HxDlBY4MdQ

— Homa Bash (@HomaBash) March 11, 2015

Well. That’ll get ya jacked up. Right when you think you can’t see any more outrageous stuff this world has to offer, you get a load of this guy’s loads. Gotta say though, I’m pretty impressed with his dedication and resourcefulness. 19 automobile dumps. In other words a normal morning for Brady Hoke.

When I saw that tweet I thought for sure it was an Akron U. student. I’ve been to Sumner Fest, I’ve seen some things, man. I’ve seen some things. I don’t know, maybe someone had some bad leftover Swensons?

I was SHOCKED to find out this is a middle aged man doing the shitting. We can all relate though, sometimes you just can’t hold it and the nearest car doubles up as the nearest toilet. C’mon. It’s human nature. Everybody does it. Nothing but respect and admiration for this pooping maverick.

This face right here-