Tag Archives: debate

Is it OK to wear a jersey with no undershirt to an NBA game?

sleevelessjersey

The Cavs posted the above picture on their Instagram account last night after they throttled the Miami Heat last night 113-93. What really caught my eye was the bro with the courtside seats trying to high five LeBron. How did he get those seats? Who’s that girl he’s with? ButI digress…

The thing that most caught my attention was this guy’s wardrobe; mainly his lack of an undershirt under his LeBron jersey.

I’d like to pose the question to everyone reading this: Is wearing a basketball jersey w/no t-shirt underneath an acceptable look for an NBA game? Let’s give it a quick breakdown.

The argument for no undershirt

  • You get a nice breeze so your armpits won’t sweat because sweaty armpits fuck up your whole day
  • If you consistently work out it’s a great excuse to show off your delts and bis
  • You don’t look like every white NCAA basketball player of all time
  • You can show off your sick tribal tattoo
  • Better arm mobility if you need to put your arm around a girl or catch a shirt from the t-shirt cannon

The argument for an undershirt

  • People will think you’re a tool if you show up indoors without sleeves on
  • You can show off your sick tribal tattoo
  • They can cover up those gross unsightly hairs on the back of your arm and upper shoulder
  • If you haven’t hit the gym in awhile, they can cover up those skinny twigs you call arms
  • An undershirt will keep your arms warm if the arena is a tad chilly

So let’s vote:

UPDATE: Apparently this guy in the main picture proposed to his girlfriend on the Humungotron and she said yes. Big win for #TeamNoUndershirt here

The Great Bacon vs. Sausage Debate is finally settled

Celtics v Lakers. Ohio State v Michigan. Pepsi v Coke. Team Edward v Team Jacob. Sausage v Bacon. The true rivalries of our generation. Which side you choose reveals a lot about your personality and who you are as a person. Are you a prisoner of the moment, always going with the cool fad? Then you’re most likely on team bacon. Are you your own person? Never following the norms of everyday life, a true American outlaw? Someone who knows no boundaries, who doesn’t let the shackles of society hold them back? Then that means you’re probably a sausage person.

Clint preferred sausage

See, the people who are all about this whole bacon craze are the same people who went ape shit over Chuck Norris jokes five years ago. The same people who still say “winning” because of Charlie Sheen. The same people who still make videos of them and their buddies doing the Harlem Shake. It’s just the popular thing to do. Bacon donuts, bacon on pizza, bacon cookies, bacon ice cream. It’s bacon overkill and I for one won’t stand for it any longer.

Sausage is a versatile meat. You’ve got links, you’ve got patties, you’ve got sausage gravy. The opportunities are fucking endless! Sausage-kabobs, sausage creole, sausage gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple sausage, lemon sausage, coconut sausage, pepper sausage, shrimp sausage, shrimp sausage, sausage salad, sausage and potatoes, sausage burger, sausage sandwich. That- that’s about it.

Bacon is all show no substance; like a Ferrari with a Prius engine tucked underneath the hood. Bacon is the supermodel who can’t write her name in cursive and can’t point to her home state on a map. Sausage is the cool, down to Earth chick who’s about a 7.5 and can hold a real life conversation without looking at her phone every three seconds. Sure the supermodel is good for a one night stand or two, but you marry the down to Earth chick. You hook up with bacon. You put a ring on sausage.

Bacon in woman form

So there’s that. The final ruling. Sausage is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the breakfast meat world. Bacon is definitely runner up but is a distant second. Bacon is the horse that came in second to Secretariat  at the 1973 Belmont. Sure you still get silver but you also lost by a record breaking margin. I can’t fault you if you’re still #TeamBacon. I can however definitely say you’ll probably grow old and die with nobody by your side if you continue to lie to yourself and claim that bacon is the superior food. So for all the sausage lovers out there, keep being you. Keep being that outlaw. Keep living the renegade lifestyle; And remember we’re all in this together.

PS- I posed this question on Twitter a little earlier and I’ll be honest, the results were staggering:

But that’s OK, I’m not one to pass judgment. I’m here to lead you into the light. #SausageForever