This is the story of a man who spits in the face of adversity. A man who marches to the beat of his own drum. When the chips are down, you can depend on this man no matter what the situation is. A man that will fight for that inch, that will tear himself and everyone else around him to pieces for that inch. An Ohio man. A man that when hardship strikes, his true colors come out. And those colors are scarlet and gray.
UPDATE: Take the above paragraph and apply it to this guy too
I have a confession to make. I LOVE everything about this guy. His look, his voice, his mannerisms, his jokes. He exhibited so many characteristics you need to be a Browns fan.
2. He drinks. We didn’t become the 4th drunkest fanbase by NOT drinking.
3. He’s kind of diesel but not too diesel. He works out but not enough to shed that beer weight. Everyone knows that having that extra weight is crucial for winters next to Lake Erie.
4. He doesn’t care what you think. He knows he’s being filmed and still doesn’t give a fuck. He’s mad and has something to say and it needs to be on camera.
5. He’s hairy. Now I don’t have any statistical data to back this up but I’m pretty sure Browns fans are hairier than other fan bases around the NFL.
6. He has a “Fuck Cincinnati” shirt. Most people have at least one of those shirts you’ll see being sold out of shopping carts in the Muni Lot. Whether it’s a “Bitch I’m a Dawg,” a “Johnny Fuckin Football,” or “Only Bitches Wave Little Yellow Towels,” we all own one of them.
7. He makes Bill Cowher jokes. Everyone has a go-to Pittsburgh joke and my man here is no different. I don’t care who you are, that Bill Cowher joke was hilarious.
I am a very depressed season ticket holder. In the past I have often sold games or given away tickets to games I could not attend, nowadays I can’t give tickets away.
In this 16th year of being a season ticket holder I see that being a die hard fan has become very difficult, very few friends post on facebook post regarding the game, (during the game), or later tell me that they turn the game off early to do… yard work, etc.
After today’s game, the penalty that gave the Cardinals a first down instead of forcing them to punt with about 11 minutes in the game, the exodus from the stadium was heart wrenching. Beforehand the crowd was least attentive and on a few occasions that normally the fans scream and pound in anticipation of stopping the opponent or creating a game changing moment the stadium was silent, as if empty.
SO I offer to pay someone to attend the Ravens game – 2 seats 13 rows from the field. All I ask is a reason not to give up believing. Along with a promise that no matter how ugly the game goes you will stay to the last second ticks off the clock. Maybe we can be facebook friends and you can post pictures and updates.
Email me, make me a believer and I will send you the tickets and a dollar.
The correct date of the game is Monday night, November 30th
Things have gotten so bad lately for us Browns fans that this dude is actually willing to pay you to go to the upcoming Browns-Ravens Monday Night Football game later this month.
Now when I first saw this story I thought for sure it was going to be one of those attention seeking publicity stunts that people pull in hopes of news stations or blogs picking up their story. Like a “Fire Jimmy Haslam Petition” or something along those lines… But then I read the Craigslist post and it’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. He’s not trying to “stick it to the Browns” and stir up some negative publicity by posting this. He genuinely just wants someone to go to a Browns game, sit alongside the fellow diehards, and stick around to the final whistle. He’s begging someone to believe in a franchise that hasn’t had a winning season since 2007.
That’s it. That’s all he wants. For someone to attend his team’s nationally televised Monday Night Football game and try to enjoy themselves. And he’s paying for them to do it. Just a guy beaten down by losing season after losing season.
This is what Cleveland Browns football has become and it’s sad. This story will probably cycle around the national publications and everyone will be like “Ha, LOL Browns” but it’s not even funny anymore. This franchise is turning away its most loyal fans by the decisions it continues to make. This is also why we drink. A lot.
PS- This is also one of the reasons I always tell my friends NOT to buy Browns season tickets. By the time November and December roll around you can get decent tickets on StubHub for like $10-$20 on gameday.
PPS- If Johnny somehow shocks the world and pulls off a win tonight and next game vs. the Steelers, this dude better pull this Craigslist offer off of the table. FirstEnergy Stadium would be ELECTRIC for a Monday Night football game with Manziel starting and the Browns riding a winning streak.
Bottlegate 