“CLEVELAND, Ohio — A bullet and a kiss – that’s what a man got Sunday in a Cleveland park. A gunman fired a shot into the 19-year-old before planting a kiss on his lips.
No arrests have been made in the shooting, which happened about 9:45 p.m. in a wooded area at Carol McLendon Park on East 98th Street.
The 19-year-old man and his 20-year-old friend were listening to music and talking at the park. A man they didn’t know slowly walked by the duo and asked for their names.
The two men said their names and the stranger ordered them to the ground before pulling out a gun. He then shot the 19 year old, police reports say.
The man demanded the keys to the 19-year-old’s car. The gunman grabbed the keys, then asked the man for a kiss. He knelt down and kissed the man on the lips and told him: “You have a sexy ass.””
God I love Cleveland.com. We’ve had a bit of a summer lull in the absurd crime stories over the past couple months, but seriously, just look at it:
“Nah. I wouldn’t click that.” – absolutely no one
The article goes on to say that the shooter couldn’t get the car to start, so he took off on foot. A woman that lives by the park heard a man shouting that he’d been shot, so she called the cops and they carried him to an ambulance when they arrived.
One minute you’re jamming out to some tunes in the park with your friend, the next you’re getting shot and then kissed on the lips and then complimented on your butt and then your car almost gets stolen and then you get carried to an ambulance by a couple police officers. Think the “Life comes at you fast” movement just found a new poster boy.
During my daily peruse for content on Cleveland.com, I sift through some of the comments and save a handful to share with you all once a week. So when you’re hungover and clinging to life on a Sunday (or Monday) morning, come on over to Bottlegate and let us talk you off the ledge.
The 9/9/9 challenge. 9 beers 9 hot dogs 9 innings.
On the surface it doesn’t seem that tough, right? 9 beers over the course of 3 hours? In my sleep. 9 hot dogs? Tough but doable. Combining the two just seems like it wouldn’t be that hard. With the right strategy it could be done. It wouldn’t be easy, but it could be done.
I’ve seen this challenge floating around Twitter before and recently Barstool mentioned it. Here’s Katie Nolan trying it back when she was with Guyism in 2013:
9 hot dogs. 9 beers. 9 innings. The road to immortality begins tonight at Progressive Field. Let's go!
So last Friday night’s Indians game v the Oakland Athletics would be the day.
I got downtown around 6:30 at my buddy’s place and we’d Uber over to Progressive Field just in time to make it by first pitch because we’d need every second that we could get. If I’m housing 9 beers and 9 dogs I want to make sure I take advantage of the timing aspect of it.
From the beginning I was fucked:
Traffic messed us up. Audible to City Tap for beer #1. Got our work cut out for us. No excuses. Time to power through this setback.
Gridlocked on the way to the game. Cars everywhere. The only good thing was that I was able to catch a few Pokemon in the backseat of the Uber while we were sitting on Euclid.
We’d have to try and get a beer or dog in us as quickly as possible so we stopped at City Tap and caught a quick inning or so there
That pic was snapped at 7:31 pm and the first pitch was thrown at 7:10. I was already 20+ minutes behind and I hadn’t even stepped foot in the ballpark yet.
Once we got into the Prog it was full steam ahead and we made a beeline to the dollar hot dog guy who let it be know that there was no limit on number of hot dogs you could buy. This guy was the best.
We (I use we because I was with my friend Will who has actually sometimes occasionally writes a Cavs article for this site) set up shop on a garbage can next to the women’s restroom (sup) and went to town on some dollar dogs. We each put down 4 dogs within the first 10 or so minutes inside of the ballpark.
Here’s where my strategy got messed up. I tried to keep everything equal.
Ex: If I had 4 dogs, I’d try and be on beer #4
5 dogs, 5 beers etc.
In hindsight I don’t think this was the best strategy. After about an hour the hot dogs built up and mixed with the beer and by the 6th inning I felt like I had an anvil in my stomach. I felt like the blobfish. If you’re going to try this at home I suggest getting 6 or 7 hot dogs down right off the bat. That way you can just coast to 9 beers if you keep up a good pace.
Needed some motivation. Reached out to the loyal Twitter followers to give me a little push. If the thought of a dead gorilla doesn’t get you juiced up then you, my friend, do not have a pulse.
I’ll just be honest- Dollar hot dogs taste like they’re worth a dollar.
Last Friday I went to the Pizza Hut by my work and had their pizza buffet. TERRIBLE idea. It’s not smart to eat 8 pieces of pizza for lunch when you’re doing an eating challenge later that night. Next time I attempt the 9/9/9 I’ll be on a strict diet leading up to that night’s game.
I shoved the last 2 bites of the hot dogs in my mouth right after the 3rd and final out of the game was completed. Unfortunately the judges said this wasn’t allowed.
The 2 guys I was with completed it and I was the only one who didn’t so my confidence is a little shook right now.
I will be trying this again this season and I will be completing it.
Bottlegate 