Tag Archives: Ohio

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Trump Said Ohioans Should Be Pissed About This Mountain Name Change. I Stand With Donald.

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MtMckinley

Welp. I didn’t know it but I for one AM insulted. I never even knew I cared about a mountain so much but guess what, here we are and I am PISSED. Who cares about those lame boring topics like healthcare, racism, the stock market etc. We’ve got real topics to discuss and it starts now with the motherfucking name of this motherfucking mountain!

Now when it comes to politics I’m admittedly a bit of a simpleton (you probably are too, who are we kidding?). My political opinion is that if you’re on the far right then you’re probably an idiot. If you’re on the far left you’re probably an idiot too. But if there’s one thing that all republicans and democrats can agree on it’s that this mountain’s name belongs to the great state of Ohio. I mean, I see no reason why Alaska even deserves this. Who cares if the mountain is “technically” in “Alaska,” they’re “barely” part of North America.

What good has Alaska provided to our great country anyway?  Other than that smokeshow Sarah Palin, that stand up guy Carlos Boozer, and that award winning film 30 Days Of Night starring Josh Hartnett, I can’t think of a single thing. Have they ever won a CFB National Championship? Have they ever had a back to back Heisman Trophy winner? Are they the birthplace of Wendy’s? Nope to all 3. That distinction goes to the Buckeye State. I mean, leave it to those blockheads to name a mountain after a GMC Sport Utility Vehicle and not after a celebrated US President. SMH, Alaska. SMH. Talk to me when you actually have some daylight, until then, you’ll always be left in the dark.

As for our boy Trump here… Trump is the hottest thing in America right now. There’s no disputing that. If Donald told me to “jump” I’d ask “How high?” If Trump tells me that as an Ohioan I should be insulted about a mountain’s name change, then I’m insulted about a mountain’s name change. That’s just part of the game. If there’s anyone on the planet who you’d take mountain advice from, it’s The Donald. Everybody knows that. He didn’t make his billions from NOT knowing anything about mountains, folks.

Trump, an expert of mountains and apparently, fences:

Let’s Make This Mountain’s Name Great Again.

#DownWithDenali

**

Hey Adam, that’s exactly what he’s saying. Alaska stinks, bro. Get over it.

ohio

According To This Study, Ohioans Love Monkey Porn, Bath Salts, And Baconators

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Via Estately

Every U.S. state has its own unique interests and curiosities, and that’s especially true when it comes to internet searches. To highlight those differences we here at the real estate search site Estately dug through 11 years of Google search data to see which terms users in each state Googled more than any other. Each of these terms was selected because we deemed them particularly embarrassing or shameful.

OHIO:  Subway (fast food chain) / monkey porn / Baconator (Wendy’s food item) / bath salts (as in the drug)

embarrassingestately

So this map was put together by the real estate site Estately. It shows which terms each state Googled more than the other states and WTF Ohio. We apparently love fast food subs and burgers, weird drugs, and weird porn. Sounds like a helluva trifecta to me.

If you eat Subway, you do bath salts, and you watch monkey porn, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.

There are some super interesting searches on here- Michigan with “pyramid schemes,” Mississippi with “penis enlargement,” Utah searching “Bronies,” and New Mexico with… “THE HOT CHICK???” The Hot Chick? I can’t even for one second wrap my head around that one, it’s by far the most head scratching term on the list.

This chart just proves that whatever weird stuff you’re searching on Google (God I hope no one ever sees my search history), there’s someone else searching something just as weird or even weirder. We’ve got some freaks here and that’s what makes us the greatest country in the world.

So, what are everyone’s plans for the weekend? I’ve got some things I want to eat, some things I want to do, and some things I want to watch.

ohio

Prisoners react predictably when drone drops drugs in Mansfield prison yard

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Via Columbus Dispatch

“The drone deposited a package containing enough tobacco for seven packs of smokes, enough marijuana for about 70 joints and a dollop of heroin that could yield more than 100 doses at Mansfield Correctional Institution.

While the airborne delivery sparked a brawl as inmates tussled over the package, it didn’t ultimately reach its intended target. Corrections officers found it hidden in a rec-yard equipment room.

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A report said a fight broke out between prisoners in the north recreation yard of the prison about the time the drone was determined to have dropped the drug package.

During the scuffle, the package was thrown over a fence from the north recreation yard to the south yard, where it was hidden in an equipment room, the report said. Officials also searched roofs for any other packages, but found none.

Corrections officers used pepper spray to douse the fighting and about 200 prisoners from both the north and south recreation yards were carefully searched before being returned to their cells.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5f76Ega_ag

Tell you what…being in prison and having a drone fly over you and drop a shitload of drugs is just about as close to winning the lottery as you can get. There they are, rotting in the most miserable place imaginable with no joy or hope whatsoever when suddenly a mechanical angel appears and the one thing left on Earth that can make 99% of them happy starts raining down on their gross heads. That’d be like me sitting in my cube at 3:00 on a Wednesday afternoon and a Roomba bumps into my foot with a bottle of Jack Daniels taped to its back.

Also I know the cat in that video wants to make drones sound super complicated and difficult to use cause he’s an expert drone pilot cause he’s a nerd, but spoiler alert, there ain’t no high-rises in Mansfield, Ohio bub.

mans1

Now admittedly I’ve never flown one myself so I don’t know how hard they are to handle but I’ve never been more confident about anything in my entire life than I am when I say, you give me a drone and put me anywhere near that prison and that sucker is gonna end up in the recreation yard.

Kudos to whoever drew this plan up though. So much more comfortable than in someone’s butt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5JfUh_Kim0