Oh. “All those involved in the fights are juveniles.” They MUST be talking about the Beachwood Mall fight we posted earlier in the week, right? No? This is another incident? Sigh.
Jesus Christ, kids. What are we doing here? Whatever happened to going to the movies on a Friday night with your friends and just being normal? Maybe sneak in some candy or chips. Maybe sneak into a Rated-R movie?
I was just at Valley View Cinemark today watching some shitty Steve Carrell and Channing Tatum movie too. What the hell.
Sidenote: If you’re even considering going to see Foxcatcher… just.. don’t. You’ll thank me. It’s AWFUL.
Let’s go to the handy dandy Twitter machine and see what we missed:
Rodney Johnson Jr., 22, and Laron Lloyd, were charged in the Dec. 7, 2013 robbery of the Fifth Third Bank in the 12000 block of Cedar Road in Cleveland Heights.
Johnson brandished a silver revolver and the pair made off with $6,701 in cash, according to an affidavit.
Johnson was arrested four days later after the FBI and Johnson’s probation officer in a separate case matched an Instagram photo with bank surveillance photos.
Johnson confessed to his part in the robbery during an interview. He pleaded guilty in September to armed bank robbery and brandishing a firearm
—
Oops. Poor Rodney. Do these narc judges and FBI agents not know the point of Instagram? It’s to post normal everyday pictures, add a filter to make the picture look cooler than it really is, add a couple hashtags, add a couple emojis, and voila you’re getting at least 50 likes.
Add in the fact these bros are wearing suits, ski masks, and throwing hunnids in the air, and one is holding a gun… I almost wish the judge would throw out all the charges. I mean, that’s just a fantastic Instagram pic. It looks like it could be the cover of a G-Unit album. If it showed up on my feed, I’m 100% giving it a double tap.
At the beginning of December we ran a poll to have our readers vote on the best looking professional athletes in the city of Cleveland. The response we got was pretty awesome, our poll was spread all over Twitter, Facebook, and Reddit and we had tons of people visit the site to weigh in on some good looking dudes. I mean, who actually cares about their play on the field, right?
Before we reveal the Top 10 that you voted, I’ll give you my top 10 and a short explanation on why and how I picked them.
10. Johnny Manziel
Is he actually a good looking guy? Meh. He’s alright I guess. He makes the list because these are the girls he’s been linked to within the past year. The company he keeps vaults him into my top ten.
9. Spencer Lanning
Spencer was the last person thrown into the poll to round out the Browns selections. He actually performed very well. The only reason he makes my top 10 is because of this picture:
8. Michael Brantley
Frankly I don’t think he’s very good looking but during every Indians game my Twitter timeline is inundated with girls swooning over him.
7. Joe Harris
If the 2014 NBA Draft was based off looks alone, Joe Harris would have been the #1 pick.
6. Jason Kipnis
He just strikes me as a man’s man. Can probably fix the alternator on your car while chopping down a Redwood at the same time.
5. Corey Kluber
He’s in the Top 5 because of his beard and his beard alone. I strive to have that facial hair one day. Oh, and he’s pretty good at throwing that baseball thing too.
4. LeBron James
“But Mike, LeBron isn’t hot. He looks like an old man” Blah blah blah. You know why LeBron cracks my top 5? Because this:
Related: Apparently I’m a gold digger. You learn something new about yourself everyday.
3. Miles Austin
Miles was famous in the non NFL circles because he dated some girl named Kim Kardashian while he was with the Cowboys. Never heard of her. Plus people tell me has nice eyes.
2. Kevin Love
Kevin Love fever has officially taken over the city of Cleveland. Kevin Love this, Kevin Love that. You’d think he was in the same league as Beckham the way these girls are drooling over him.
1. Jordan Cameron
It really isn’t even close to be honest.
1) He’s an acclaimed actor who made his on-screen debut on FX’s The League
How Jordan Cameron didn’t win unanimously is beyond me
Bloodbath City: Population Kevin Love & the Cavaliers
Zach Walters coming in second for Hottest Indian then not cracking the top 10 for overall hottest is the most confusing thing that I’ve read all year.
Cleveland’s Top 10 (with ties)
10. Mike Aviles
10. Yan Gomes
10. Michael Brantley
7. Spencer Lanning
5. Miles Austin (tie)
5. Joe Haden (tie)
4. Jason Kipnis
3. Joe Harris
2. Jordan Cameron
1. Kevin Love
And there you have it, Kevin Love is the undisputed best looking athlete in the Cleveland professional sports scene. It was a back and forth battle between Jordan Cameron and Kevin Love, with Kevin making a big push on the final day to claim the title. Thanks to everyone who voted. Stay tuned for more polls like these that we have up our sleeve.
Bottlegate 