Tag Archives: football

Buckeyes Re-Up Their Bosa Subscription

From ESPN.com:

“Nick Bosa, the No. 3-ranked prospect in the country, is following a familiar path.

The five-star prospect, who is the No. 1-ranked defensive end in the Class of 2016, committed to Ohio State on Thursday morning, ending a recruitment that seemed destined for the Buckeyes since it began.

The 6-foot-3, 265-pound Bosa, who attends St. Thomas Aquinas in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, selected Ohio State over Florida State and Florida following unofficial visits to Gainesville and Tallahassee last week.

The top-ranked prospect in the state of Florida becomes the 17th commitment for the Buckeyes, who boasted the No. 3-ranked class by RecuitingNation prior to Bosa’s pledge. Included in the Buckeyes’ star-studded class is No. 1-ranked running back Kareem Walker and nine more ESPN 300 prospects.

With Bosa, Ohio State is poised to possibly land the top 2016 class come signing day. The Buckeyes still have a number of targets still on the board, including No. 1-overall Rashan Gary, No. 23 Antwuan Jackson, No. 121 Damar Hamlin, No. 147 Jordan Fuller and No. 155 Luke Farrell, among others.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hahahahahahahahaha. Lol. This is like towards the end of the night when you’re sitting on the hot seat in poker and all your friends are pissed that you keep winning and you peek down at pocket rockets after your buddy just went all-in. Or when you return your fifth first half interception for 6 in Madden to go up 49-0 and you see Jimmy just frowning and shaking his head out of your periphs. You don’t want to crack a smile or, god forbid, laugh out loud but it’s damn near physically impossible not to. It’s not even fair how good you are.

Sorry buddy.



Watch and feel it move:


The Ohio State Football team CRUSHED their halftime dance routine on Sunday

Killed it. That’s how you’d expect national champions  to dance. Sucks that the basketball team’s performance spoiled this halftime gem but let’s forget about that. The best damn team in the land; the best damn band in the land; and the best damn football players that can dance at halftime of basketball games vs. Wisconsin… in the land.

Love Zeke wearing a pink cast and his patented jersey crop top even though the NCAA just said next season a tucked in jersey like that will be a wardrobe violation.

If you’re white you have to sympathize with #91 on the left here. He’s fighting a losing battle. No matter what he does or how good of a dancer he may be, he’ll NEVER look as cool as anyone else out there #FactsOnly

Darron Lee though? He just may be as good of a dancer as he is a linebacker.

And quit talking about Zeke’s ass

Building a Football Roster of Movie Characters; The Defense

So on Twitter earlier this week we started to kick around the idea that if you had the first pick in a Fantasy draft of football movie and TV characters, who would be the #1 pick? Being the Friday Night Lights fan that I am, I would pick Tim Riggins. Texas Forever, no questions asked.

That got the wheels turning and pretty soon I was putting together an entire team filled with on-screen football legends. The Waterboy, Little Giants, Blue Mountain State, etc. are all represented.

A few rules: No professional football players aka no Terrell Owens from Any Given Sunday or Bill Romanowski from The Longest Yard.

First up, the defense. We’ll run a standared 3-4. You’d be surprised how many really good linebackers there are in football movies. Cornerback is a weakness but that won’t be a problem with the amount of pressure we’ll put on the quarterback. We’re sending at least 2 guys on blitzes every play.


Defensive Coordinator- Bill Yoast (Remember The Titans)

 Anyone who can give a speech like this on the sidelines in the middle of a game will be my DC 100 out of 100 times.


DL- Lattimer (The Program)

Easy choice here. Size, strength, intensity… only if he’s on the juice though. Has some of the most intimidating face paint you’ll ever see. Need guys like him to take on double teams and free up lanes for the inside linebackers. Athletic enough to drop into coverage and strong enough to shed blockers at the line. STARTING DEFENSE PLACE AT THE TABLE.

DL- Julius Campbell

All-American. Quick off the edge. Had one of the best speeches of the movie. “Attitude reflect leadership, captain”

DL- Switowski (The Longest Yard)

No explanation needed.


ILB- Bobby Boucher (The Waterboy)

Absolute no brainer. Old school throwback player that plays with a tenacity that makes Ray Lewis seem like Todd from Wedding Crashers. As long as his batshit crazy mother stays away, he’ll be the leader on defense.


ILB- Spike (Little Giants)

Has all the intangibles and plays with a refrigerator chip on his shoulder.  Typical angry pre-teen who was probably on HGH as an 11 year old. Was the kid in sports who hit puberty before everyone else and dominated the little leagues. I mean, the motherfucker carried refrigerators and did pull ups on his dad’s arm for fun. Also speaks in third person (must be all the human growth hormone)

OLB- Thad Castle (Blue Mountain State)

Every team needs a Gronk on it and ours is no different. Keeps the huddle light hearted but can also rush the hell out of the quarterback. When he’s not hungover/drunk/high he could be the defense’s most talented player.

OLB- Luke Cafferty (Friday Night Lights TV)

Barely made the cut. Doesn’t possess the size and strength of the prototypical outside linebacker but makes up for it with his toughness and smarts on the field.

If he stays away from that idiot Becky, he’ll be alright. Sidenote: Becky is the worst character from any TV series ever. THE WORST.



CB- Alan Bosley (Remember The Titans)

Makes the team on looks alone. Isn’t great at coverage, gets burned occasionally but is the exemplary teammate as evidenced by giving up his spot to Petey Jones. The last of a dying breed of white cornerbacks. Jason Sehorn 2.0.

Pretty solid dancer too

CB- Earl Wilkinson

Criminal and former star defensive back. Brings a nastiness and toughness to the position to contrast Gosling’s (Alan) finesse style of play

(guy on the left)

SS- Torres (The Longest Yard)

Smokes cigarettes on the field. Wears 00. Mean spirited and plays with a chip on his shoulder. Great downhill speed but below average coverage skills. Loves daytime talk shows.


FS- Brian Chavez (Friday Night Lights)

Captain. Tenacious. Love my DB’s wearing single digit numbers. Will rack up a penalty a game for a late hit.



K- Nigel Gruff

Because every team needs a swearing, alcoholic, degenerate gambling Welsh kicker on their team. Nigel and Torres can share cigarettes on the field.

So, what do you think? Leave your comments/suggestions below or tweet us @Bottlegate, bitches

Stay tuned for the offense