All posts by Mike

Browns

The Browns Twitter account shows promise… but in the end gets owned by the Arizona Cardinals

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A little backstory here: Thursday afternoon the Browns tweeted out this picture of First Energy Stadium.

The stadium is looking sexy no doubt.

The Arizona Cardinals innocently decided to respond to the tweet:

Pretty harmless, right?

“Hey your old coach is now our current coach. SMALL WORLD LOL. Crazy, huh?”

Well. Apparently the Browns decided to start swinging their big dicks around on Twitter and responded with this:

Boom.

goingnuts

But wait. The Cardinals have had some success recently and apparently that was lost on whoever is running the Browns Twitter account because the Cardinals shot back with this:

Shit.

Well that backfired.

A lot of the blogs and the pundits out there are going to be like “LOL Browns” and “Browns gonna Brown” but not me. Nope. Won’t do it. I love that the Browns took a shot at another team. If you’ve read anything on this website before, you might have noticed that we’re HUGE fans of false confidence. It doesn’t matter if you suck, always carry yourself like you’re the best. That’s how I want my sports teams to act and that’s how I want the fans of my sports team to act. Sure the stats and history of the team won’t back you up, but I want my team to go out swinging. Ruffle some feathers. Piss some people off on Twitter. It’s not like the Browns were tweeting at the ’85 Bears, it’s the fucking Arizona Cardinals.

If I ran the Browns social media accounts I would act like it’s my first day in the prison yard. What do you do on the first day of prison? You find the biggest baddest sonofabitch and you slug him across the face. You want to give off that “There’s a new sheriff in town, don’t fuck with me” vibe.

I’d start talking shit to the best teams in the NFL on Twitter:

@Patriots Hey congrats on those Super Bowls*****  ps- We fired your head coach. Enjoy our sloppy seconds.

@Seahawks Way to pass on the 1 yard line you doofuses!

@Packers Brandon. Bostick.

@Broncos Enjoy losing in the Divisional round this year.

So I say good first step, Browns. Let’s build on this and start going after the big dogs in the NFL. Shoot for the moon and if you miss you’ll land among the stars.

Morning Mishmash

Mishmash- Lion on the loose in Milwaukee; Fan at a Reds game jumps on field and evades the cops to freedom; Screaming deer

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Cleveland pic of the day

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 There’s a lion on the loose roaming around in a Milwaukee neighborhood

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If you wanted to see a video of a screaming deer then today is your lucky day

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I could watch this idiot try and dive into this pool all day

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Bear wanders into an Alaskan zoo and has a helluva time

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Guy jumps on the field during the Reds game and gets away from security. Hero.

https://twitter.com/Cmactweets12/status/624020509999689729

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Buckeyes

Best story ever: OSU-Michigan argument on the Jet Express leads to a brawl between couples and arrests

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From 13 ABC

A Michigan-Ohio State football argument on the Jet Express allegedly prompted a fight that resulted in assault charges.

Witnesses say the rivalry argument turned physical between two couples with a woman pulling another woman’s hair and the two men throwing punches at each other.

It divides households and pits neighbor against neighbor.

Buckeyes versus Wolverines.

 

People fight over dumb stuff. We’ve got Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift fighting on Twitter over irrelevant MTV Awards. We’ve had people in Beachwood Mall fighting over getting their Jordans stepped on. There was a woman who got stabbed in the eye with a fork over ribs. All dumb. All stupid fights. All pointless.

But not this.

This is what college football rivalries are about. Middle of the summer; On the way home from Put In Bay; In the middle of Lake Erie; No better time nor place to defend the honor of your state’s university. The OSU-Michigan rivalry never stops. There are no off days. It doesn’t take a summer vacation. No. This shit is 24/7 365. Some trash Michigan fan wants to come to Ohio and run their mouth about how good the Wolverines are? Questionable strategy but you better believe there’s a chance they’ll get popped in the mouth, get their hair pulled, or get thrown overboard on the Jet Express into the Lake. That’s college football. This is the Big 10, this ain’t the pussy SEC Conference.

What could the Michigan couple possible be arguing here anyway? Team? Coach? Stadium? Roster? All advantages for the Buckeyes. The ONLY thing Michigan has going for itself right now is Jim Harbaugh and that lunatic’s about five minutes away from spontaneously combusting in his khakis.

 

Ohio State; We’ll beat you on the field and we’ll beat you on the lake.

 

PS- I’m a Miller Ferry guy when it comes to Put In Bay. Nothing better than downing a couple beers aboard the ferry on your way to rage in PIB.